Bossy Jazz?
Recently, my two daughters convinced me to join them in a book club. I’m not sure you can really call it that because they have limited the group to themselves and me. Basically, it’s a Mom & Daughters thing. We’re supposed to each choose a book for the month and then we go out to lunch or for coffee to talk about it at the end of the month. Here’s the rundown so far:
First month – Bossy Pants by Tina Fey, selected by my oldest daughter based on some of her friends who said we should read it.
Second month – Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller, selected by me because there’s a very limited movie release of it coming out in April, and I’d heard good things about the book and its message.
Now, if you’re familiar with either of these, you will immediately see the blatant contrast in these books. Fey’s book is about her discovery of self, as is Miller’s book, but Fey focuses on her role in comedy and television and what it means to be an assertive woman in these fields. Miller focuses on his discovery of self as defined by God. Now do you see the contrast?
Bossy Pants was very funny. I have no problem telling you that I laughed out loud in parts of the book. But I must warn you if you have not read it, it is not for those who are easily offended. By her own proclamation, she warns readers that most likely she will offend everyone at some point in the book. Blue Like Jazz has moments that confuse the reader because you know it’s a Christian journey, but many tenets of Christian belief are challenged along the way. I was quite convicted as I read it.
What I found to be fascinating though, is the things that the two very different authors had in common. In fact, they had more points in common than they differed on. I don’t want these to be spoilers for you, so I’ve pared them down to the briefest common denominators, but here are some of those similar themes from my perspective:
- Acceptance doesn’t mean agreement, but it makes a difference in how we relate to one another.
- Some things just cannot be understood from the outside looking in. They have to be “known” from the inside.
- Appearances are not all they’re cracked up to be, and often, they have nothing to do with reality.
- Humor helps, and so does admitting our own imperfections.
- We need each other.
The biggest difference in the two books comes from perspective. Fey finds her own perspective, and Miller finds God’s. I prefer Miller’s, but I found it highly coincidental (God-incidental?) that I would end up reading two books, back to back, with such similar points on the way to a conclusion. But that really is the crux of it isn’t it? The conclusion.
Both books hung heavily on the premise that we learn more about ourselves and others by being open to different people, forgiving ourselves and loving others before we judge them. Fey called it a rule of comedy – never say “no” in an improve scene – always yes. Miller compares his premise to jazz music, freedom music. The difference was the reason we would live this way.
I invite you to find your reason, and I invite you to consider what it would be like to live as if others treated you in these “thematic” ways.
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.” (John 15:12)
The Prayer of Sir Francis Drake
This blessed me today, and so I thought I would share it here. This was a closing prayer we said in church, and it seemed so fitting, so appropriate for today. It’s worth mentioning that this prayer, attributed to Sir Francis Drake, the English sea captain (known as a pirate to the Spanish), is from 1577 A.D. Drake was the second person to circumnavigate the world…by the grace of God, and with His help.
Disturb us, Lord, when We are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.
Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.
Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.
Amen, and amen…
My how times have changed – or maybe not so much…
Reality TV?
Disclaimer: I am going to make mention of a television show that I do not watch. It may be a fine television show, and someone in my home, who shall go unmentioned, likes to watch this show. Be it known that any offense to any members of our society who have been on this show, as supporting cast or a main character, is not intended. It just is what it is.
I had an interesting adventure today, and I’m still not sure whether or not I did the right thing. A simple little outing to the bank turned into a moral dilemma and a potential episode of Cops. (“Bad boys, bad boys, what you gonna’ do? What you gonna’ do when they come for you – bad boys…”)
I was pulling into the drive through line at my bank, and there were two green-light lanes. Both lanes had two cars in line, so I could choose to be the third car in either lane. The lines were moving very slowly probably due to the fact that this was around lunch time. As I pulled into the left lane, I heard a commotion next to me on my left. Just to the left of the drive-through lanes, there’s a separate parking lot for customers who want to go into the bank. There was a lot of yelling coming from that lot.
A lot of yelling….I looked over and there was a family (I think) of 5. It appeared to be a mom, dad, and then two younger adults – either their son or daughter, and the son or daughter’s significant other. The young woman was holding a baby. The baby was no more than 3 months old, I’m guessing. In the middle of the parking lot, what amounted to a family dispute was unfolding. There was yelling, shoving, grabbing by the arm and twisting in an attempt to push down, “in your face” confrontation (literally), and a whole lot of unhappy emotion. Yes, it looked like a scene straight out of Cops, except that the police weren’t present.
I know that everyone in the line could hear this argument – with their windows rolled up – just like I could. And that’s when I started thinking… “I’m 35-40’ away from this. If this goes sour, what do I do? How can I keep that baby from getting dropped, thrown, or hurt without getting hurt myself?” I kept thinking that they would calm down, but it was only getting more heated. The bank line had not moved. The dispute wasn’t getting any quieter. More shoving. More yelling. The son was nearly knocked down.
Was it the right thing to do? I’m still not sure, but I called the local police myself. I’ve never done that before. I waited on the phone at the request of the dispatcher while they sent officers out. Two policemen arrived and I was thanked, told I could hang up now, but that if they had questions, they would call me back.
After no less than 10 minutes in line, I was finally able to get to the terminal and finish my deposit. When I left the bank, the two policemen were still trying to calm mom and son (?) down, and the young woman with the baby was still trying to insert herself in-between them to break it up. The dad was gone, and no one seemed to be chasing him down.
Maybe I’ve seen too much television and assumed the fight was going to go badly. Maybe I’m just a wimp and I panicked for the sake of the baby. I also wonder how many others in that drive-through line made the same call I did, and what it says about me that I was worried about making the call. Interestingly enough, and it’s not until now that I make this connection, a Bible study that I’m participating in started this week and one of the principles of the first lesson is that we are to pray for our cities. When our cities prosper, God will prosper us. I haven’t been doing that lately. Looking at “real life” in the midst of my city, it’s hard not to see the need for prayer – phone calls to the police or not!
What would you have done?
“But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare.” (Jeremiah 29:7)
Top 5 Things I Miss from Childhood
Getting older has it’s advantages; I’ll be the first to admit it. I actually love being in my 40′s, but on occasion, I fondly think of things from my youth. In honor of those memories, here are my top 5 missing childhood things…
5. “Speed Buggy” – Now who knows why I liked this cartoon, but it’s one of the ones that’s stuck with me in my memories. Along with “The Pink Panther” and “The Jetsons,” “Speed Buggy” made my Saturday morning what it was supposed to be. I liked the idea of a talking car, and Saturday mornings with a talking car and my favorite pajamas made the world right. I might add that I was about 8 or 9 at the time.
4. Pixy Stix, the giant size – It’s no wonder that I have a few cavities. I loved these things. What were they anyway, colored and flavored sugar crystals? They were my favorite, but they did get a little “gunky” at the opening. When that happened, you had to use your teeth to squeeze the saliva-infused sugar back into your mouth. Doesn’t that sound good? If it got really stuck, you could cut the straw off, one section at a time, but that was like a failure. It was better to finish the candy without cutting the straw. (True confession, my second choice was red or black licorice, which I still eat today!)
3. Summertime nights – In the summer, I’d sit on the front lawn with my friends and watch the cars go by. We’d talk about what we were going to do to change the world, how many kids we’d have, which famous people we’d meet…It was so innocent, so full of potential, and so carefree. I can still smell a suburban summer night if I think about it, and every time I hear cicadas, I think of these nights. And I might add, I don’t ever recall mosquitoes back then. Must have been the home yard-fog my dad used weekly. Yup, I can still smell that, too!
2. Tab and Fresca, the originals – I grew up on this stuff. Someone in my house was always watching their weight, and these two beverages made up the majority of what I drank. I never drank milk, don’t remember drinking much water, and didn’t discover tea until later…nope, I miss a good old fashioned Tab. Nothing was quite like it. I gave up sodas about five years ago, but I’d give in if old Tab came back!
1. P.E. – At the time, I don’t think I cared much for gym class, but on reflection, what was my problem? What’s wrong with a little exercise, a few games of volleyball or basketball, and a break from heavy thinking? I think I should have enjoyed this more. Getting all your frustrations out in a good game of Dodgeball sounds like just the ticket, if you ask me! If it weren’t for the hassle of having to add extra time for a second shower, I might add a P.E. break to my day now!
What things do you miss from your childhood?
My List
Sometimes I forget to be thankful. I was told recently that it’s easier to be negative than positive, easier to frown than to smile, and I’ve given that a lot of thought. Is it? Probably. We tend to see the things that aren’t perfect quicker than we see things that are good. Notice the contrast I used there – perfect vs. good. Even for those of us who are “glass half full” types, like me, we can get into a rut where we focus on things not being perfect in our world.
Silly us! Who said perfect was all it was cracked up to be? If everything were perfect, I suspect we’d get bored! Think about that…
Today I want to quickly jot down some of the things that are good. If you’ve been in a rut, try this out yourself. Each day, make a list at the end of the day of the things that are good, things you are thankful for, things that make you smile. Pick 5 or 10. The next day, make the list, but no repeats! See if this doesn’t make a difference. (I’m not going to post each day’s list, but know that I will be making my lists!)
1. I’m thankful for my family. This one feels like cheating, because if you know me, you know that already. They are my inspiration and the very best of me.
2. I’m thankful that God gave me challenges so that I will seek Him. Yes. I do mean this. Not usually in the middle of the challenges, but I always end up here.
3. I’m thankful that my Great Dane adores me. There is something pretty special about the way she leans into me and stares up at my face with sheer loyalty and devotion when she thinks I need it.
4. I’m thankful for my iPad. I know, how shallow, right? But really, it allows me so much freedom in my business that I don’t know how I survived without it. C’mon iPad 3…!
5. I’m thankful for my new shoes. Who knew that a new pair of “sassy” (that’s a quote from someone else) shoes would be so fun! I’ve decided that I’ll be wearing them quite often in order to put a little spunk back into my step – pun intended!
What’s your list?
Off the Menu
If you follow my blog at all, you’ll know that I’ve been away for awhile. Part of this is because of my business that I’ve been working hard to grow, and part of this is because I haven’t had anything nice to say, and that’s the truth. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve thought, “I need to blog,” and immediately I’ve had one of two thoughts pop into my head –
- Why? Who cares?
- I’m not ready to be upbeat yet – better wait.
These thoughts hit me in random order, depending on the day, but sadly, both are true.
Today, however, I decided to catch up a little bit – just a little. You know how you go to a restaurant and you want more than one item, so you create something new by ordering off the menu? That’s the idea behind this blog. I’m going to hit a couple of topics, and you can pick and choose what to read, depending on your mood…
Valentine’s Day
I don’t really like Valentine’s Day. There’s too much pressure to do something “wonderful” and “big romance” when I would rather have daily moments of tenderness. A husband who lets me cry into his chest when I wake up, no longer able to “fight off the mood” after months and months of pent up emotion on all sorts of topics…I also feel a great deal of pain for those adults who aren’t married or dating, wish that they were, and can’t get through the day without feeling uncomfortable about it. I wish I had a magic wand with stars that float around and singing bluebirds….
Sports
I was tagged in another blog by a friend, and the challenge was to repeat the process. Remember I’m ordering off the menu, so I’m breaking the rules. However, I do want to respond to the challenge. My question (#6) was, “What’s your favorite sport to play? And to watch?” I don’t know. I used to like to play racquetball and volleyball, but not really anymore, and I don’t like to watch sports at all. Would bowling count? That’s fun, as long as it doesn’t ruin my nails…I thought question #7 was pretty interesting, though, so I’m answering it too…
Pet Peeves
“#7 – What’s your pet peeve of the moment?”…People who ————————– the relationship but are unwilling to ————————————, or even ————————————————- better. That would be perceived ————————– and they would ——————. See my problem with this one?
Accountability
Don’t you hate it when things you say come back to you and you realize, I said that? Really? If I said that I believed it, now I gotta’ own it. Following our own advice can be no fun, and even Dr. Seuss said, “Fun is good.” He should have said, “Fun is good, when good is done, but doing good is both fun and unfun.”
Laughter
The easy answer to many problems is laughter. My husband makes me laugh. Stupid jokes make me laugh. Sometimes we just need to laugh. It doesn’t make the problems go away, but it breathes new momentum into them, because it gives us new breath. Laughing makes us exhale in large quantities and then you have to inhale. Inhaling brings new oxygen into our bodies and brains, and we think better, more clearly. So laugh. Laugh a lot. It helps.
Just a Little Bite
Women may get this one more than men, but you know that cookie or dessert that lurks from your kitchen? The one that you say, “I’ll just have a little bite…” and before you know it, you’ve had 15 little bites and the dessert is gone? That one.
That “little bite” could be an analogy for so many things in our lives. It could be the one or two Sundays that you skip church to sleep in and before you know it, you haven’t been in two months. Or, it could be the two or three nights you work late just to catch up, and a few weeks go by before you realize you’ve missed dinner at home more times than you’ve eaten dinner at home. Maybe it’s missed exercise, skipped meetings, too much of things that aren’t healthy for you…Whatever it is for you, there’s probably something in your life that has fallen victim to the “little bite” syndrome.
I have my areas, a few of them, actually. There’s always an excuse for that first little bite, isn’t there? Is it just that I lack self-discipline, or is it that I’m not motivated enough? Whatever it is, once I make that decision the first time, it’s easier and easier to make that decision again and again until whatever it is that I’m taking little bites of has taken me so far away from my starting point, that I don’t have the energy or motivation to get back to it.
But what are those areas? What little bites are eating away at me and the person I’m capable of being, the one I want to be? If I think about the result of too many samples of dessert, I’ll find extra weight. Using the same principle and looking at my life, what seems out-of-order? Where are there extra burdens that I’m carrying? If I’m feeling unloved, could it be that I’ve been taking too many bites of criticism? If I’m feeling “unspiritual” could it be a result of too many bites of worldliness? Lonely? Perhaps I’ve skipped too many opportunities to comfort others?
I don’t want to be a victim of the “little bite syndrome” any longer, but with all of the clarity that I see this analogy right now, I’m just as likely to forget it tomorrow. Paul’s voice echoes in my imagination, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate, I do.” (Rom. 7:15)
We all do it. It’s not just me. We all fall short of our own expectations. Sometimes we pick ourselves up and try again, and sometimes we carry the extra weight. I want to skip this kind of dessert. Oh, Lord, help me – help us, Lord. Make us to be the people you want us to be – in spite of ourselves!
What do you do to avoid the “little bite syndrome?”
“Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.” (Romans 8:5-6)
Who’s Angel Year Is It?
Traditions…things that keep us comfortable, keep us safe, and give us a sense of all is well in our world. I can’t arrive at this time of the year without thinking about traditions. Every family has traditions at the holidays, so today I thought I’d share some of ours in hopes that you’ll share some of yours. It fun to compare traditions, and sometimes, it’s fun to start new ones…
For instance, about the time Thanksgiving dinner is over, my family begins discussing the Christmas Day meal. Just like Thanksgiving has a certain menu, so does Christmas. We haven’t always had the same one, but about four years ago, we stumbled on a Prime Rib recipe. It is awesome, to say the least. It is now our “tradition” and you’d think we’d never done Christmas dinner any other way. The side dishes are pretty rigid, too, and if ever we opt to add something new, it’s an add-on, not a replacement, because part of the tradition is that each person gets one personal favorite at the meal.
Before that special day arrives though, there are the decorations to do. We decorate as a family. Everyone comes home, cancels plans, etc, and we decorate together. It’s not without stress or tension as we discuss burnt out lights, trees that need extra fluffing, “should we or shouldn’t we hang this up,” or will there be a theme for the tree this year, but we’re together. While we decorate, we “picnic.” That means we put out a spread of chips and dips, cheese and crackers, fruit and veggies, and other nibble foods. We nibble and decorate, decorate and nibble. So, decorating can take hours, but we make a private family party out of it. And did I mention that certain Christmas songs must be played throughout the day?
Another tradition we have is manger baskets. We’ve never done stockings as a family. Instead, we have straw baskets of hay that remain empty until Christmas morning. It’s the favorite part of Christmas morning for a couple of my kids, and it’s one of my favorite sets of gifts to plan. This one is probably our most unusual tradition.
There are other traditions we have as a family, but these are a just a sampling of our holidays. As our kids grow, have families of their own, etc., we’ll adjust to “blended” traditions, and that’ll be fun, too. But, I’ll be fascinated to see which of our family traditions “make the cut” when my kids develop into their own family traditions.
So what makes the holidays “comfortable” and ” traditional” for you?
Things for Which I’m Thankful
In honor of Thanksgiving tomorrow, and the fact that I’ve been feeling a little “introspective” lately, I want to list some things for which I’m thankful. There’s no order to this list; it’s just a list, but I hope behind the list you’ll see a few patterns.
I’m thankful for 21 houses to live in over 48 years and a sense of no permanent “home.” I think I’ve learned a lot about meeting new people, being open to new experiences, and I’ve certainly gained an appreciation for the scriptural understanding that this earth is but a shadow of our eternal home.
I’m thankful for our very odd Turkey Stuffing that mixes all sorts of things you might never put together. If I’d never tried this odd recipe a few years ago, I would never have liked stuffing, and this one’s incredible!
I’m thankful for every job that frustrated me or ended in tears. These experiences proved to me that I am not a good match for every situation, and I’m okay with that, as I bet all of my former bosses are. Those jobs also forced me to look beyond what was “available” in order to craft something of my own that suits my need to create and recreate.
I’m thankful for Garlic Mashed Potatoes that have to boil in steaming hot water and are best when peeled right away. They burn my hands and the steam ruins my makeup, but the process does work miracles on an awfully ugly vegetable.
I’m thankful for every time someone has hurt me in friendship or shut me out of one. It’s allowed me to “weigh” the friendship over time and see whether I was really a friend or just someone who was convenient. I can be someone’s “convenience,” but I’d rather be a friend; real friendships can withstand an argument or two.
I’m thankful for our Cranberry Orange Relish. The bitter and the sweet form a perfect dish – one of my favorites. Letting them blend for a day or two brings out the better flavor, too.
I’m thankful for every time that God didn’t do things my way, including the death of my son. Without that, I would never have learned how to hope, how to look forward, how to know in my “knower” that there’s no limit to what I can walk through with God, or how to understand loss – an emotion that gives us compassion for others in ways that no other experience can do – if we allow that to happen.
I’m thankful for Turkey. It’s not my favorite meat, and in fact, I could do without it. I don’t like to think about the fact that it was once living. I don’t like to prep it, and I don’t like the mess of it, but I know that it nourishes me and makes me stronger, so I eat it.
I’m thankful that my husband lost his job about 23 years ago at a time when we had a brand new baby, a brand new home, and a brand new car. It changed everything about where we thought we were headed, but we had to say goodbye to the first phase of our lives before starting the new life ahead.
I’m thankful for Pie – Pumpkin or Apple or Pecan. These sweet treats that come at the end of the meal after all the cleanup is done and the work is over. They’re always better than all of the anticipation or the preparation combined.
I’m thankful that we’ve made and lost small fortunes a few times. Okay, maybe not fortunes, and not really lost, but money has come and gone from our bank account over the years, and I’m glad for that. There’ll always be another go ‘round, so I’ve learned not to rely on money. You have to be a lot more creative that way, and for that, I’m very thankful.
I’m thankful for the Dinner Rolls on our table. We almost never have the same kind and sometimes I don’t buy enough, but we enjoy the variety of them, and we ration them out when they’re scarce so that everyone gets some. Everyone’s happy that way.
And, I’m thankful that I know less now than I did when I was 30. I’m glad I don’t have all the answers nor do I feel the need to make them up all the time. What I know, I know more fully, and what I don’t know, matters less.
I’m thankful that we have the same conversation every year – “Which china?” “Do we want china?” “Is anyone decorating the table?” “Who’s coming over?” I never quite have all of these answers figured out when I wake up Thanksgiving Day, but somehow, by the end of the day, where we sit and what kind of plates we ate off of don’t matter anymore. It’s about the conversations and time we’ve had together.
“I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” (Philippians 4:11) ………I pray you’ll be blessed this Thanksgiving and full of gratitude for all of the life events that have shaped you – they are so much more than the food on your plate.
CANA Gallery Event – Announcement
(In lieu of a typical blog post, I am posting the Press Release on an upcoming event. Please share this information freely. CANA Gallery is a unique ministry of Christian Aunts and Uncles, Inc., and this event is unique in nature.)
December 10, 1p.m.-3p.m. – CANA Gallery
7801 N. Lamar Blvd., Bldg C – Ste. 71, Austin, TX 78752
For Immediate Release: When I Die – On Being, Living, and Having the Last Word, Author Event
“If you could attend your own funeral and listen to what is said about you, what would you hear? Are the memories you’re leaving reflective of the legacy you’re building? What is your exit strategy?” A new book, written by Camille Rodriquez, asks this very question. Looking at life through the lens of a funeral, Mrs. Rodriquez, challenges readers to look at life with the end in mind.
Camille Rodriquez, author, homeschooler, business owner, and mother of four children, was inspired to write this devotional based on the funerals she has attended over the years. “In every funeral I’ve attended, I’ve learned something new about the person I was there to honor. What inspired me though, was the thought that if I had learned something new, then I imagined others had, too. If we all shared our stories, would we have known that friend any better? That made me think about the people in my life, and what they might say about me at my funeral years from now.”
When I Die encourages readers to look at the relationships in their own lives to see what it says about their priorities and their living. Dotted with humor and anecdotes, the book takes a lighter tone than you might imagine, yet makes thought-provoking statements about accountability and intentional decision-making. Glenn Smith, founder and president of New Church Initiatives, Inc. says, “What an enlivening adventure to read Camille’s book. She speaks from the heart and takes you on a journey deep into the human experience. By beginning with an exit strategy, she helps us to discover how to live a full and meaningful life. Her transparency and wit are refreshing and inspiring.”
When I Die would make an excellent choice for any church or Bible study group, as well as for personal enrichment. There is a companion Reflection Journal, also authored by Camille Rodriquez, only available through book signings and venues where she speaks.
• From 1-3p.m., Mrs. Rodriquez will be greeting Gallery guests, sharing in the work of fellow artists, and signing copies of her book.
• She’ll also share a reflection – “Polka Dots of the Heart” – during her time at CANA Gallery.
For more information:
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/WhenIDie.Book – RSVP under “Events”
CANA Gallery: http://canagallery.org
