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Who’s Angel Year Is It?
Traditions…things that keep us comfortable, keep us safe, and give us a sense of all is well in our world. I can’t arrive at this time of the year without thinking about traditions. Every family has traditions at the holidays, so today I thought I’d share some of ours in hopes that you’ll share some of yours. It fun to compare traditions, and sometimes, it’s fun to start new ones…
For instance, about the time Thanksgiving dinner is over, my family begins discussing the Christmas Day meal. Just like Thanksgiving has a certain menu, so does Christmas. We haven’t always had the same one, but about four years ago, we stumbled on a Prime Rib recipe. It is awesome, to say the least. It is now our “tradition” and you’d think we’d never done Christmas dinner any other way. The side dishes are pretty rigid, too, and if ever we opt to add something new, it’s an add-on, not a replacement, because part of the tradition is that each person gets one personal favorite at the meal.
Before that special day arrives though, there are the decorations to do. We decorate as a family. Everyone comes home, cancels plans, etc, and we decorate together. It’s not without stress or tension as we discuss burnt out lights, trees that need extra fluffing, “should we or shouldn’t we hang this up,” or will there be a theme for the tree this year, but we’re together. While we decorate, we “picnic.” That means we put out a spread of chips and dips, cheese and crackers, fruit and veggies, and other nibble foods. We nibble and decorate, decorate and nibble. So, decorating can take hours, but we make a private family party out of it. And did I mention that certain Christmas songs must be played throughout the day?
Another tradition we have is manger baskets. We’ve never done stockings as a family. Instead, we have straw baskets of hay that remain empty until Christmas morning. It’s the favorite part of Christmas morning for a couple of my kids, and it’s one of my favorite sets of gifts to plan. This one is probably our most unusual tradition.
There are other traditions we have as a family, but these are a just a sampling of our holidays. As our kids grow, have families of their own, etc., we’ll adjust to “blended” traditions, and that’ll be fun, too. But, I’ll be fascinated to see which of our family traditions “make the cut” when my kids develop into their own family traditions.
So what makes the holidays “comfortable” and ” traditional” for you?
When I Grow Up…
When I grow up, I want a paint for my walls that holds up to swinging tails and shoe scuffs that happen when the dog is being chased around the room, barking incessantly, running into me, knocking me down, stepping on my toe, and trying to hide under the bathroom sink. I want paint that really endures – and in a color that I never get tired of.
When I grow up, I want a real dishwasher. I want one that doesn’t leave water spots and permanent stains on the brand new silverware I treated myself to not too long ago, but only after 30 years with the first set. No one can say I have no loyalties!
When I grow up, I want to be able to eat anything I want anytime. If I want three chocolate cookies for lunch (while I stare at the pantry trying to decide what I really want) and chocolate cake as an afternoon snack, along with my crackers and Swiss cheese before dinner, so what of it?
When I grow up, I want a car that doesn’t need gas with an air conditioner that never runs hot. Oh, and it needs to be able to be relied on to take me everywhere I want to go without anyone getting in my way – ever!
When I grow up, I want everyone to be nice to each other and look for ways to get along. I don’t want to deal with other people’s envy or anger or insecurities. That drives me crazy! Especially when they hold that mirror up to me.
When I grow up, I want to be able to travel at any time. I’d love to see Japan and Spain and Greece. I’d love to go back to Israel and stay longer. I’ve always wanted to fly around the world on an open-ended ticket. Run to the airport when the mood hits me. No one, and I mean no one, “runs” at the airport any more – not without large men with guns running behind them.
When I grow up, I’d like it to be a giant slumber party all the time. I want to have my friends over, play games, stay up late and watch silly movies, sing made-up songs on my guitar, tell stories that make everyone laugh until they cry, and never have to go to bed. I was tempted to try that recently, but no one thought I had enough coffee.
In the meantime, though, I’m grateful for the fact that I have a husband who entertains me, and pets for him to be a little boy with, hands to wash my dishes, and children to get them dirty again, food in my pantry, refrigerator, and the deep freeze outside, a way to get around and people to go see, places that inspire me, and laughter to fill my memories even if they hit me at silly times when no one else understands why I’m smirking…
“I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally. I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.” Philippians 4:11-13 (The Message)
In No Particular Order
The last week or so – here are some updates…
The tree is still standing, and the leaves are still green. I think it might actually survive the Texas drought and constant heat, as well as its near death experience.
I’ve gone from a family of six at home to a family of four as my two oldest children left the house to experience the joys of third-floor apartment dwelling with a dog who has to be taken outside regularly – up and down the stairs, up and down the stairs, up and down the stairs.
I’ve started a new business and created a website from scratch without any HTML code knowledge when I began while simultaneously writing and editing a new book/reflection journal to serve as a companion piece to my first book. (Whew…catch your breath…) And did I mention that I’m doing an alternate version of the Bible study live on Facebook?
My dog won’t leave my side. She’s afraid that I will leave her too, just like her sister-dog did. This means she wants to go in the car with me, to the bathroom with me, into the kitchen pantry with me, onto my lap in my office chair with me…You get the idea. She has bad breath – this is not my most favorite side of her.
I got a year older. (No comment.)
I celebrated the first 4th of July I can ever remember that didn’t involve fireworks either in the street in front of my house or at a public venue. Burn bans due to droughts are a good idea, but they change the “holiday feel” significantly.
And I made the mistake of purchasing a small shelf to go into my office…That required moving my desk which required moving the computer. That required moving the table, after the lamp that sat on it was broken. When the lamp broke, it was suggested that I borrow a lamp from upstairs, but the lamp from upstairs might need to be used in the new “office” for my husband, now that my daughter has moved out, leaving behind an empty room…which required moving three large, very large, bookshelves and about 150 books, 50 or so videos, and at least 10 photo albums which were all falling apart. (By the way, who keeps VHS videos anymore?) Once those were gone, the TV center upstairs needed to be reorganized which required moving the couches which required washing all of the slip covers. While we were doing that, of course my youngest son thought we should wash every item of bedding we’ve ever had for anything that might have ever been upstairs at any point. Of course the dog followed me up and down our two-story staircase during all of this process. Up and down, up and down, up and down.
I’ve decided not to buy any more shelves.
Good Morning, Saturday!
86 text messages in 32 minutes, more or less. Starting at 6:42 a.m. this morning.
That’s how I woke up!
What kind of idiot would send that many text messages that early in the morning? Me. I sent them all – one after another. What can I say? I woke up a bit feisty today.
You see, I woke up to a quiet alarm that I had set to remind me to remind my daughter to get up for her SAT test this morning. However, I hit the snooze button, and by the time the alarm went off again, I woke up to two 135 lb. Great Danes on either side of me on the bed, sprawled across my thighs and calves respectively, literally pinning me in place. How was I supposed to
get up to remind my daughter to get up? The only thing I could reach was my phone. That’s when my evil, but funny plan was birthed. Here’s how it went, and just so you know, I have deleted some of the messages….but each line was a separate text sent to my daughter’s phone:
Are you up? Happy? Ready for the SAT?
Hello??
Hello?
Is anyone there?
Can you hear me now?
What about now?
Now?
……….now?
Seriously?
Don’t you think I’m cute?
I’ll take that as a yes.
Of course, you could answer me.
That might help.
And save on my typing.
Do you think if I just keep texting you, I’ll ever get an error message?
Can one really send too many text messages?
Wait. Don’t answer that.
Well…. I’m so glad we had this conversation, but you really need to get up now.
Don’t you think?
I think.
…….I think about a lot of things.
Like…..why you haven’t answered me yet.
What’s up with that?
Do you know I’ve been sending messages fir a straight 9 minutes?
For
Not fir
Are you not amused yet?
There’s a limit to how cute I can be this early in the morning. You understand that, right?
I mean, I’m always entertaining, I know that, but it is 7am.
6:53 to be exact.
11 minutes
This is called “random access thinking”
Are you with me?
Let’s go back to the SAT.
You know you have to be up, right?
Hello?
Can you hear me YET?
I’m going to have to start text-yelling.
THAT’S NOT A PRETTY SIGHT!
And it takes longer to type.
I have a cramp in my fingers now……………
15 minutes……….
16 minutes…….still here……..
(This went on for another 15 minutes…)
Where are YOU?
I’m glad we have unlimited texting.
18 minutes.
I bet that’s a record.
I bet your phone is confused right now.
It’ll be funny to re-read this conversation one day.
I’ll bet you’ll wonder why you were so rude as to not answer your own mother.
Rude!
20 minutes of conversation and you still haven’t responded…
I don’t even hear your phone text alerts anymore.
Did you turn me off?
How could you do that to me?
….especially when I’m so clever to keep this going.
Giving up sleep to entertain you…,
Because that’s what mothers do.
And I guess you’re doing what kids do— Ignoring your mother.
That’s okay-one day I’ll make up for it.
I’ll sneak a piece of fish into your spaghetti.
Bet you didn’t see that one coming.
So…….you know you’re supposed to leave in 10 minutes, right?
Right?
Don’t you want to at least answer me?
Make me coffee in bed before you leave?
Something?
I’m running out of things to text.
And have I ever told you how I hate to text?
I do.
30 minutes.
Unbelievable!!!!
I’ve been texting you for a solid 30 minutes, and you haven’t answered!
Wow!
You are just ignoring me, right? You’re not asleep are you?
That would be bad.
She finally responded:
What kind of coffee?
32 minutes, by the way….
Not that I noticed!
I love Saturdays! And yes, she made it to the SAT on time…
Happy Mother’s Day weekend!
I plan to take full advantage of this one!
That Scene From That Movie, You Know the One
On days like today, I often think of that movie. You know the one. It’s Billy Crystal and his wife, waking up on the morning of his birthday, and he’s feeling a bit older than he’d like. Then, as she always does, Billy Crystal’s movie-mom calls him at the exact hour of his birth (pretty early in the morning if I remember correctly), and retells the story of his arrival into the world.
This is one of those days for me, but in my version, I’m both Billy Crystal and his mom. I’m waking up on the morning of one of my children’s birthdays, and I’m also feeling a bit older than I’d like. It happens to be her 16th birthday, and so this is a special day. It makes me feel old. This is my fourth time around this track.
But, setting that aside and going back to my feelings for today, it’s hard not to want to retell her story to her. Why do we do that? I’m not entirely sure that she cares about the fact that she never made it to the delivery room because she came so fast; I’m not sure that she cares so much that I didn’t even get to have as much as a Tylenol. I don’t imagine that she’s too impressed that the doctor wasn’t even in the room until the cord cutting. Clearly, she doesn’t remember any of this. But somehow, in telling that story, it shows that I remember the details. In what could have been a fog of crazy emotions and frenzied activity, I remember the details, and isn’t the life we live all about the details?
So, in honor of my daughter’s 16th birthday, I want to encourage you to celebrate the stories in your life, the details that make you who you are. My daughter has always been a bit determined to do things her own way, as evidenced in the story of her birth, and I can celebrate that with her today. Lord knows we still “celebrate” that side of her every time we disagree!
So this little shout out is for her, but now I’m off to tell her the full story of her arrival. I’ve got some details to celebrate!
Christmas Faith
Merry Christmas!
It’s a common greeting right now. Yesterday Frankie and I did our annual Christmas shopping. We always do it that way – it started when our kids were really little and we couldn’t get repeated babysitters to come and go and come and go for shopping, so we figured we’d get it all done at once and hire a babysitter for the day. It turned out, we loved the all day hustle and bustle experience and we turned it into a date-day, so it worked out really well for us. It also helped to get us into the holiday mood, which in Texas, when temperatures climb into the low 80’s the week of Christmas, can be difficult!
So, yesterday, off we went. Shopping, shopping, shopping. It was good fun for us, and we accomplished all that we set out to do – there was a deadline and a specific budget so there wasn’t a lot of impulse buying. We’re pretty good under those circumstances…And for the most part, people were nice, friendly, and no one was pushy. One gentleman even had an extra coupon that I didn’t have, and he applied it to my order. Wow!
But I kept thinking about the funny people out there. There’s no other way to say it. Some folks are just plain funny. Get into a crowded place when no one can tell they’re being watched, and you’ll see what I mean. I’m sure people have said that about me, too. One woman was walking down the mall, yelling into her phone, not because it was loud where we were, and not because she was mad, just because. That seemed to be her style of communication. Her clothing style was a bit “loud” too, so I guess that was her personality. One family was trying to get a family Christmas photo taken in the busiest section of the mall. Great backdrop, but not so much luck with the little child focusing on the camera. There were way too many other things to be focusing on – namely the toys that were around. The little girl was very young, so I can’t say that I blame her. It was fun to watch – these little microcosms of people’s lives, and it made me remember a little plaque that my sister had on her wall. She may still have it somewhere. As best as I can remember, it said, “Every time a child is born, it proves that God has not lost faith in the human race.” We’re a funny group, we are, but I agree, and while my dad used to tell me that I was far too trusting for my own good, I’d have to say that based on my shopping yesterday, I haven’t lost faith in us either. Shared coupons, proud living, and sparkles in the eyes of a little child all make me smile and say, Merry Christmas, from me to you.
On that note, our family Christmas card for two years in a row now, has been an electronic one. We’ve skipped the paper version, maybe for good, I’m not sure, but this year we made it interactive. You can add your own favorites, and even click on the some of the images for a little fun, but imagine that you’ve just opened your mail and found our card in your mailbox…(Click on the family photo above to open our card!)
Blessings for a safe and joyous holy-day season as we celebrate the faith and hope in us that God has shown through Jesus….
Are We There Yet?
Sometimes, the familiar question that our kids ask of us is the same one we ask of God. Like little children, sitting in the back seat of God’s van, we ride along wondering when the journey will be over. I don’t mean death. I mean the lessons we’re learning.
No one likes to learn the, “Pride goes before a fall” lesson, or the “Wait upon the Lord,” lesson. Those mean that we have pain, or we’ve suffered in some way. We want to be perfect, acknowledged by others as such, and to have everything we want, when we want it. Or, we have practiced being humble for so long, we’ve been patient, we’ve watched others gain accolades over us, we’ve been undervalued and overlooked, and all we want to know from God is, “Are we there yet?” “Is it my turn, God?” And if we’re really honest, we also want to know if it’s time to see others suffer from the “Pride goes before a fall” lesson, not just us. Isn’t that much like a little child? Their lollipop is bigger than ours…
What we forget is that from the back seat of the van, we can only see a portion of the front view. We can see the sky and some of the scenery, but we cannot see all of the details of the road. We have to trust God to lead us in this journey. Spiritually speaking, He’s driving, not us.
Sometimes I think about this and then I realize how many times I travel over the same roads when I’m driving. They always take me where I need to go, but I go there more than once. That can be comforting if I let it. Like a familiar path that takes us home, the lessons we learn along the way will get us where we need to go. Just because I make the trip successfully once, though, doesn’t mean I don’t have to take the trip as carefully the next time. I do. Each journey needs to be done with the same attention to the details as the last time. I have to be mindful of the other “drivers on the road” in the sense that their journey shouldn’t make mine less successful, but I’m also not driving their cars. I can’t see out of their front windows either. I can only drive my car.
The truth is, we’re never really there until we’re there. You know? So what if I have to learn this lesson again. Maybe I didn’t really learn it before. Maybe I forgot. My God is going to get me there safely, of that I can be sure. So maybe I just need to sit back and notice the journey, be content to be protected, loved, and watched attentively from the rear-view mirror. Even better, maybe I need to make eye-contact in that rear-view mirror, because when that happens, a knowing smile is always shared. The journey is more profound in that instant, and the question of whether I’m there yet or not is quickly forgotten in the eyes of my Father’s care.
“Friends, don’t complain about each other. A far greater complaint could be lodged against you, you know. The Judge is standing just around the corner. Take the old prophets as your mentors. They put up with anything, went through everything, and never once quit, all the time honoring God. What a gift life is to those who stay the course!” (James 5:9-11a)
My Favorite Child
It must have been 15 years ago. I was attending a conference, and sat for lunch at a table with mostly strangers. I did know one person, but one of the women that I didn’t know was clearly the “chatty” one at the table. She began telling her story, describing what she did, talking of her husband and children – note the plural there. Just at that moment, two of her children came up to the table and one of them, a daughter, asked a question of the mom. When the child got her answer and walked away with her sibling, this mother shouted out, so that everyone in the room could hear her, “That’s why you’re my favorite child!” I was shocked at such blatant favoritism, especially in front of another of her children, and since I didn’t know this woman, it was quite an uncomfortable moment for me.
I pride myself on trying to be a good parent. I’m not perfect, but even my kids will tell you that all in all, I keep a balanced, loving home with a fairly strong sense of charity, kind actions, and responsibilities towards others in the home. My standards are high, and I expect my kids to honor their parents, in the home and out of the home, but we operate within grace, too. But outward favoritism? Hardly!
When I could stand it no longer, I politely asked of this complete stranger, “Excuse me, but did you really say what I think you said to one child, in front of another?” What ensued was a delightful conversation with this mom who I have never seen again. She explained that she randomly tells each of her children that they are her favorite child – “loud and proud” style. That way, when she dies, there will not be a single one of her children who cannot honestly, and with witnesses, say to the others, “Well, you know, I was mom’s favorite!”
I was thinking about this event as I read my husband’s Facebook posting today on our daughter’s wall. Today is her 22nd birthday, and as he has done repeatedly and often over the years since hearing my version of this stranger at the lunch table, he told her that she was his favorite child, very publicly, just as he has done for all of his other four children. They all get to hear their dad say this about them, sometimes when they do something “good” and sometimes randomly. Sometimes he even tells them this when they insist on ordering too large of a pizza on the menu, thinking it was a small, personal size at $21.00, I might add, and arguing their ability to eat the whole thing because they, “know what they want!” (That’s an inside joke in honor of the birthday girl! – But for you, the readers, note that Grimaldi’s “Small” pizza is not an Individual size!)
But beyond the good intentions of knowing that each of our children can honestly say that they are “Dad’s favorite,” can we have a favorite as parents? I was reflecting on that and immediately my mind went to my web browser “Favorites” list. I have more than one. Don’t you? I visit some sites regularly and often, every day in fact. These are my favorites. Each of them brings value to me, to my day; each of them reflects information that I want or need…they are all my favorites.
Likewise, I believe, God has favorites, too – favorites in the same way that I do on my web browser. Just like I have bookmarked mine, I believe God has bookmarked us, if you will. We are loved and called His favorite child all the time. I don’t have to be more important that you, nor you than me, because in God’s view, we each contribute a part of what He has determined to need and want – we bring value to Him as His creation. How cool is that?
So do I have a favorite child? Yes. All of them. But more importantly, I am a favorite child, too!
Anyone Need a Dog?
My daughter has her first official post-college, full-time, “in my intended area of study based on my college degree” job. After graduating in December, she finally found a full-time teaching position, and I must say we are all delighted. This means that she can begin her adult life formally, she can do the job she’s dreamed of doing, and she can begin to set up her first independent home.
Okay, maybe not quite. You see, in order to do that, she has to have a house. She has one right now; it’s mine. That’s not the one she wants to have, and frankly, it’s not the one that my husband and I want her to have either. We love her dearly, but we will be happy to see her move into her own place, with her Great Dane (leaving me with only mine to feed), and her mess following her. She’s a bit of a Linus…
The problem is that she has no car, either. She’s been borrowing her sister’s car. Her sister is willing to let her continue driving the car back and forth to this new job, but not to have her move out with the car. That would leave her without one, and she is going to need it. So, my older daughter has to get a car in order to move out so that she can get back and forth to the new job which will allow her to have the independent life that she dreams of.
But do you know how hard it is to be independent? She began looking for homes, and quite naturally, found a few that she thinks would be excellent, but they will stretch the budget quite a bit. So, she began looking at “lesser” homes. It has to be a house, mind you, because apartments don’t take Great Danes, and the alternative is to leave her Great Dane here with us. That’s not her first choice, and frankly, we’ll, I don’t think I need to mention that that’s not our first choice either.
When we reminded her of the car situation however, she switched from homes to cars. Naturally, she began to find several cars that would work, but the cars have to accommodate…you guessed it…her Great Dane, too. Even still, she found a few cars that would work, but again, would stretch her budget. Okay, more than stretch. “What about insurance?” I asked. Okay, so back to the drawing board. If she adjusts this variable and moves this line item to here, and takes some money from this budget item…nope. Not quite there yet, either.
So, she decided to do this in reverse. If she starts with the car insurance, “then what would be left for the car,” she wonders. Not much, but maybe there will be something out there. If she can find a clunker for a year, then maybe this will be okay. She had a number in pencil for the car. So, back to the house options she went. If she maxes out the budget line for the car and insurance, though, then there’s not any play in the budgeted amount for the house.
Let me see if I can recap for you – this is a dizzying process…To be independent, you need a place to live and some way to get around. She has a job, so she definitely needs the way to get around. If she gets around in a safe, but not-so luxurious way, then she can afford to live in a very questionable neighborhood (for a single young woman), OR, she can ditch the dog and move into a nicer apartment.
We are huge, huge Dave Ramsey fans, but it’s easy to see why there is so much debt out there. Or, why there are so many parents raising their kids’ dogs for them!
What It Means to Live By Faith
Living by faith, as a concept, is really simple. There is no mystery to the idea of it. But, we try to over-complicate this one, as if that wasn’t redundant enough as it is. We obscure the simplicity of it, primarily for two reasons. First, because we want to believe that we have complete control of our own lives, and second, because we want to justify our struggles doing what’s right because it isn’t always as easy or acceptable, and so we don’t always do it. But truly living by faith takes no effort or deep thought, it takes no unraveling of hidden secrets, and it isn’t difficult. Let me illustrate my point.
To demonstrate my point, however, I’m going to quote scripture. I understand that if you don’t accept the Bible as the word of God, I will lose you right here, but, I’m asking that you keep reading for the sake of the analogy. Look at the gospel of Mark, Chapter 10, verses 14-15. “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”
Imagine a little child, 3 or 4-years old. A child has complete faith in the world around them. There may be moments of pain, but they are quickly and totally forgotten. Small bumps and bruises fade with the waking of every new morning. Children are always looking forward to the next adventure or fun thing to do. They love to laugh and play. They don’t worry about what they will eat or wear, because it doesn’t really matter as long as they are taken care of, and they always trust someone to have that under control. They make friends easily, overlook flaws, or never notice them in the first place, and have a curiosity and appreciation for the simple joys that they encounter each hour, each minute. They don’t have every answer, but they are unconcerned about the answers that they don’t have. They ask until they get their answers. They have what they need when they need it, and by some inexplicable trust in life, they know that to be true without even thinking about it. They are also soft-hearted which means they can be hurt easily by disappointments, showing their hope in others and in life, but the speed with which they put those disappointments behind them is blinding. They are the eternal optimists.
It’s that simple. To live by faith is to live like a child. To live by faith is to look for the best at all times, to hope for the future, to seek the common good, to anticipate joys instead of sorrows, to forgive quickly, to laugh often, and to love with abandon. That is exactly how God treats us, and it’s how He calls us to live. That is what it means to live by faith!
