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Playing Commander Keen
A friend me told today that I was fearless. It was an innocent remark, but it couldn’t have been more untrue. I am definitely not fearless. I do a lot of second-guessing, a lot of the time. However, I learned a life-changing lesson a few years ago, and maybe that’s why I occasionally come across as not-so-afraid on the outside.
There’s a lot to be said for trying.
Sometimes you’ll do it well, and sometimes you won’t, but there’s a lot to be learned in the midst of the process. In a sense, that was also the subject of the message in church today. Yes, there’s a cost for following Christ, but the rewards outweigh the cost.
Recently, my daughter found a way to resurrect an old computer game from the 1990′s. It was one that I loved, and I rarely play computer games, so that’s quite an endorsement. It was called Commander Keen, and I would play it for hours. My favorite part of it was the hidden passageways. The trick to most of the levels was doing the “non-sensical” running into walls, jumping into pits, etc. in order to unlock a new portal. Behind that new path was a “fortune” in jewels, life-giving raindrops, and candy gum-balls; sometimes, there would even be a key to a new level, which would never have been found without that risk, and you never knew what feat you were going to have to attempt to find the entrance. A theme in my life right now?
There’s much to be gained from trying.
So am I fearless? No. But, I’m looking for that next level, and I’m sure of the fact that the rewards are going to be really cool! In fact, there are already rewards all along the way. Sometimes I fall in the pit, and sometimes I learn a new route. Sometimes the slimy worm gets me, and sometimes I get him. In the end though, I learn something new every round, and I get stronger along the way. As long as I’m willing to try, again and again, there’s much to be gained from trying.
“You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.” (Hebrews 10:36)
Marriage Numbers
26 years ago today, I married my husband. When you try to summarize that many years, sometimes you have to focus on the facts alone to give the years some perspective and depth. So, here are the facts of my 26 years of shared life with Frankie Rodriquez, as best as I can account for them.
- 37 surviving coffee mugs, memorializing something
- 23 photo albums, before we went digital
- 20+ different dogs, cats, snakes, hamsters, birds, and fish
- 19 different jobs, some of them simultaneously
- 14 different cars in shades of red, beige, blue, gray, green, black, white, and silver
- 11 homes in 8 cities
- 7 pregnancies, 2 miscarriages, and 1 child’s funeral to precede our own – resulting in 4 children together and 1 other in whose life I am privileged to be included
- 5 washer/dryer sets
- 4 parents who rejected our marriage in the beginning and said it would never last
- 4 parents who came to love one of us after all
- 3 hammers, 2 ladders, and 1 toolkit
- 2 vacations we’ve taken alone (other than a few weekend getaways)
- 2 sets of silverware
- 2 coffee tables
- 1 decision – to love one another, no matter what, and even if everyone else abandoned us
- 1 God who saw us through it all, even when we didn’t see Him.
Perspective is a funny thing, and facts don’t tell the whole story. Clearly, there’s a lot missing from the years if we only look at the facts, but some things are certain. If you think you’ve “made it,” you’re wrong, and if you think you can ever coast through a marriage, you’re wrong. Once married, change begins. In between the facts, there’s a lot of work and effort, a lot of change and adapting, some tears, some silly moments, laughter and pain, quite a few difficult experiences, and plenty of opportunities to choose zero – the number of new chances you’ll give.
The place where you start and the place where you end will most assuredly be different. Choose “your 1’s” well. The 1 you will focus on, the 1 thing that unites you in marriage, and the 1 thing you know to be true.
…Frankie, I love you more now than when we married, and like that sunny afternoon before the wedding, when we sat down with two letters from families who could not love us at that point, I am decided to love you for the rest of my life. Unlike that day though, I understand the implications of that decision, and I joyfully give thanks to God for the honor of making that decision again. By the grace of God, and through the One that He is, you are my 1.
When I Grow Up…
When I grow up, I want a paint for my walls that holds up to swinging tails and shoe scuffs that happen when the dog is being chased around the room, barking incessantly, running into me, knocking me down, stepping on my toe, and trying to hide under the bathroom sink. I want paint that really endures – and in a color that I never get tired of.
When I grow up, I want a real dishwasher. I want one that doesn’t leave water spots and permanent stains on the brand new silverware I treated myself to not too long ago, but only after 30 years with the first set. No one can say I have no loyalties!
When I grow up, I want to be able to eat anything I want anytime. If I want three chocolate cookies for lunch (while I stare at the pantry trying to decide what I really want) and chocolate cake as an afternoon snack, along with my crackers and Swiss cheese before dinner, so what of it?
When I grow up, I want a car that doesn’t need gas with an air conditioner that never runs hot. Oh, and it needs to be able to be relied on to take me everywhere I want to go without anyone getting in my way – ever!
When I grow up, I want everyone to be nice to each other and look for ways to get along. I don’t want to deal with other people’s envy or anger or insecurities. That drives me crazy! Especially when they hold that mirror up to me.
When I grow up, I want to be able to travel at any time. I’d love to see Japan and Spain and Greece. I’d love to go back to Israel and stay longer. I’ve always wanted to fly around the world on an open-ended ticket. Run to the airport when the mood hits me. No one, and I mean no one, “runs” at the airport any more – not without large men with guns running behind them.
When I grow up, I’d like it to be a giant slumber party all the time. I want to have my friends over, play games, stay up late and watch silly movies, sing made-up songs on my guitar, tell stories that make everyone laugh until they cry, and never have to go to bed. I was tempted to try that recently, but no one thought I had enough coffee.
In the meantime, though, I’m grateful for the fact that I have a husband who entertains me, and pets for him to be a little boy with, hands to wash my dishes, and children to get them dirty again, food in my pantry, refrigerator, and the deep freeze outside, a way to get around and people to go see, places that inspire me, and laughter to fill my memories even if they hit me at silly times when no one else understands why I’m smirking…
“I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally. I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.” Philippians 4:11-13 (The Message)
What? I Only Have 147 Days?
I had a conversation with my daughter yesterday, just an innocent one. Something like, “I can’t believe it’s almost the end of summer – I didn’t do everything I wanted to this summer…” That got me thinking about the fact that more than half of 2011 is gone. Hours rush by, days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, and before you know it, another year goes by. Not being one to take that lightly, I decided to write out my “2011 Goal List – Now That It’s Already August” and post it publically so that I can be held accountable. I’d love to have you add yours as comments to this blog and then we can encourage one another.
Here are the “rules” – Don’t bite off more than you can chew, because that’s just frustrating, and at the same time, don’t make this a “to do,” or task list – Make this a goal list. The difference is all about the planning. Tasks take routine effort; goals require some planning and preparatory steps. Feel free to post as many as you want, but I’m going to narrow down my list to my top 3 – one spiritual, one personal, and one professional…That way it doesn’t seem too scary! 
Number 1 – Before 2012, I will have finished reading the list of books that have been suggested to me. There are about six of them, and I just never seem to make enough time to read them. Each of them is a book on Christian living, and each of them has been highly recommended for spiritual growth. I’ll have to start by rounding up all of the names of them again, but if I read one book every three weeks, I can do this!
Number 2 – Before 2012, I will clean out my computer. I know that sounds like a cheesy goal, but you ought to see my computer files. I have hundreds of files from years of working on this computer, or the one before it when I was too lazy to reorganize, so I just copied everything over. It’s getting to the point where I can’t find things when I need them, and so I just make new folders. Now I’ve just got folders within folders within folders. If I start with my 10 primary folders, and clean out one of those each non-holiday weekend, I can make it. I already have the external hard drives to put important reference files on, I just need to use them, but my computer will love me for it!
Number 3 – I used to attend a regular business coaching class with an incredible business coach. His name is Glenn Smith, and I cannot praise his insight enough. If you need a coach, let me know and I’ll put you in touch with him. However, when I was in that class, I was focused on the school that I previously worked with, but now I need that insight for my own business. There were some incredible tools in our “exercise books,” and before 2012, I will work through the manuals all over again for myself. What better time to focus on a strategic mindset than at the beginning of a new business. I will need to set aside several 3-4 hour blocks of time to review everything, reread some of the external books that were suggested, and do some of the strategic planning, but it’s worth it. No distractions, no other appointments, no laziness, no excuses…
Wow…I had no idea this blog was going to be so long. I’ve got to go clean out a computer folder, now. What are you doing today, I mean this year?
“Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established.” (Proverbs 16:3)
Relevance
I changed the desktop background image on my computer this week. Not an earth shattering statement, I know, but relevant.
Yesterday, I took an hour-and-a-half drive across Texas (one-way) to see a friend for what turned out to be a four-hour lunch. We were a big hit with the waitress, I’m sure, but this trip is also relevant.
And like so many others, this week I witnessed with an utter absence of words as the news events of Japan’s earthquake and tsunami continue to fill the airwaves. Also relevant.
And what I’m about to say is nothing that others, including myself, haven’t said on numerous occasions. It’s not new, but it’s where my heart is today. It’s as relevant as a picture or a conversation or a crisis.
We want what we want, and we want it now. We rationalize and we justify. We often support others because we care about them. But sometimes we support others because we can get what we want, whether information or a sense of pride because we helped. Sometimes our motives are pure and sometimes, not so much. We tell the truth when it suits us, and either lie, or at best omit the truth when it doesn’t. We let friends down and we fail to meet the expectations of others all the time. We flaunt the side of ourselves that we want to show others, and we hide the rest. We cheat and we steal-even if our theft is only of others’ confidences or emotions.
So where does it end?
It ends when we look for the new in ourselves or in others. New growth, new potential, new honesty, new pictures of hope that we can cling to…It ends when we reconnect with those who know all there is to know about us and still love us, who still freely extend the love of God to us…It ends when we are forced to remember the brevity of life, the shock of an interrupted birthday party or a grocery run for food that will never be eaten.
It ends when we choose to be focused on the power of God to change us, to heal us, to forgive us, to grow us, and yes, even to disrupt us when we need it. It’s a choice, though. And a choice that I believe, is of the utmost relevance.
“And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God. May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.” (Colossians 1:9-14)
In the Middle of My Testimony
Last night, we had some friends over for dinner and fellowship. It was a fun evening, and I enjoyed the laughter and prayer time, not to mention some beautiful music at the hands of a very talented musician friend. Some of these friends have been friends for years and some of them I met only months ago. What was particularly sweet though, was the time of honest prayer.
There seemed to be some common threads in our prayer needs and thanksgivings – don’t you love it when God orchestrates a group of people who can help each other? And, there were some testimonies shared. By that, I mean a few people were able to share times that God has taken them through a challenge into a success. That’s a great blessing to have the evidence of God’s work. That’s a testimony.
That’s when God reminded me that to have the testimony, you have to have the struggle. To see how He saves, you have to understand where you’re lost. To know how God redeems, you have to come to terms with the “waste”. So last night, part of the testimony of God’s work in some of us, was the struggles we’ve been through.
So, in remembering that we are always to give thanks to God, I can proudly state, I am grateful that I’m in the middle of my testimony!
I’m grateful for the things in my life that have been redeemed, and I’m looking forward to the resolution of the others. I’m blessed by the victories I’ve seen for myself and my family, and I look to the future with God for those losses we’ve known. I’m happy to tell you of the testimonies in my life, but I’m only in the middle of some of them.
But, if my attitude can stay focused on the testimony I’m being given by God, of the work He is doing, and the care He has for my welfare, then I can stop focusing on the struggle. I can focus on the testimony with the reminders of past victories in mind to remind me how a testimony ends. Always for the best. Always!
So again, I am grateful to be in the midst of my testimony. Aren’t you?
“Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: ‘Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Messiah. For the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down. They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony…”. (Revelation 12:10-11)
Why I’ve Been Slacking Off On My Blog
Has it really been 10 days since my last blog? Wow…What was I thinking? I’m sure I’ve had a thought or two since then…let’s see. Here’s a recap of my last 10 days:
- My oldest daughter turned 22, so there was a birthday to celebrate.
- I was preparing to be unemployed (not because of job performance mind you, but economy-related), and trying to figure out what was next.
- One of my brightest students, and quasi-member of our family, left for college out-of-town, which was sad for all of us.
- My step-daughter turned 28, but since she lives out-of-town, we couldn’t really celebrate until a few days later when she came to visit. Much fun has ensued, and all have enjoyed her visit.
- On the day that she turned 28, though, we discovered that my husband has a suspicious and growing “spot” on his throat. He was referred to an oral pathologist. Still waiting.
- My youngest daughter, aged 15, got her first real job, but there was much traveling around for applications first.
- I stopped preparing to be unemployed – things have worked out after all.
- I spent all day at a coaching class for our business, which I am still involved in, finding out that there is much to do. What were we thinking that it wouldn’t take all of us to accomplish this?
- My son, aged 17, had an “event” that affected the entire family in one fleeting day.
- We followed through on a great “impromptu” party for a few friends and had a great flurry of activity to pull it off.
- We followed that up the next day with dinner for 20 in our home, as we do every Sunday night, working together on the planting of a new church, which occupies, oh, I’d say a fair amount of our time and energy right now.
- My oldest daughter started her first teaching job, requiring much last-minute cutting, tracing, and laminating.
- And, today, I celebrate my 25th anniversary to an incredible husband for whom I give thanks to God daily, and who, by the way, is still awaiting news on the “spot” on his throat due to no appointments being available for another two weeks.
Yeah…I think I’ve had a few thoughts these last few days. So, and not that it really matters, I thought I would jot down my thoughts on these last few days if for no other reason than it will help me to process a bit. I’ve decided I’m too tired and I’m just going to await my husband’s arrival home. It’s my anniversary. I think I can stop thinking and just enjoy today….
Dizzying Math Secret Found!
I had a revelation today. Again.
I was reflecting on an educational article that I am preparing. (I write a lot of educational articles, too.) I write regular articles on how I have applied certain tools or strategies in academia, specifically homeschooling. But in reflecting on an upcoming article, I had one of those brain “spasms.” That’s what happens to me sometimes when I am minding my own business, doing my thing, and suddenly a speeding bullet of a thought goes through my mind so fast that I can barely catch the points, but I always end up with a new “idea.” Does that happen to anyone else?
So here goes, but hold on, because writing these down is never easy. This will be stream of consciousness kind of thinking…All day. 24-7 goes the phrase. 24+7=31…Doing something all day, all the time is 24-7, but that equals 31, which is kind of like God – 3 in 1. God is 3 in 1 – Father, Son, Holy Spirit, but ONE God. But 3+1=4. How is God like a 4? If God is “4” us, who can be against us? So whatever we do for God, we do 24-7 with God and 4 Him, because he is 4 us.
Did you catch that?
Duh, right? But really. Think about it. If you profess to be a Christian, then your witness is 24-7. But that’s God’s witness to us, too. He is with us 24-7 as the perfect fullness that He is. He is Father, the one who loves and cares for us, leads us and guides us, and provides for us, too. He is Son, the one who has bridged the gap between where we want to be and where we fall short, the one who has taken our place of disgrace and given us glory instead. And He is Spirit, always present, always pointing the way, always whispering into our hearts if we listen and take comfort in Him.
But it gets better than that. When we give 24-7 to Him, then He is present and for (4) us. He is our Advocate and our biggest Fan. He is our Supporter and on our team. Actually, we’re on His. Do we win every game? I don’t, but I know whose team I’m on. I may not have the flashiest uniform all of the time. I may have a bruise here or a scrape there, but I’m on the team, and the ultimate victory is mine. Sometimes I’m on the bench, and sometimes on the field, but the victory is coming because if God is for me, who can be against me? Really, who?
So when things are tough, I just need to remember who is rooting for me, and who’s calling the plays. My biggest Fan is always for me!
“What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31)
Revisiting A Cow Story…
Today, I am posting a story that dates back a few years – as best as I can tell, it comes from a Reader’s Digest story in the 1960′s, but of course, this story has been posted and told numerous times, so finding the original is a bit difficult. To that end, I want to say right up front, this is not mine – If I have failed to give proper credit, it is because I was unable to authenticate it, and for that I apologize. I am happy to update the proper credit if and when I find it, but I want to reprint this story for two reasons:
1. It blesses me and my husband treats me this way regularly. I am valued, honored, and given a role of “high price and worth” in my home. And,
2. Because in doing research for an upcoming webinar today, I knew that others would ask for this story, and so I wanted to have it available here for any other bloggers or participants in the conference.
And so, without further delay, the story of the 8 Cow Wife….
Perhaps you’ve heard the story of Johnny Lingo, a man who lived in the South Pacific on an island known as Nurabandi. Johnny Lingo isn’t his real name, but a nickname he was given. The islanders all spoke highly of him. He was strong, good-looking, a capable businessman-trader, well-known in the villages, and very intelligent. But when it came time for him to find a wife, people shook their heads in disbelief. The woman Johnny chose from the neighboring island of Kiniwata was plain, skinny, and walked with her shoulders hunched and her head down. Her name was Sarita, and she was very hesitant and shy. She was also a bit older than the other married women in the village, which did nothing for her value. She hadn’t been “picked” yet…
But Johnny Lingo loved her, and what surprised everyone most was Johnny’s offer to Sarita’s father. In order to obtain a wife in that area, you paid for her by giving her father cows. Two or three cows were “average” and four or five cows were considered a high price – usually given for only the most beautiful of women. The other villagers thought Johnny might pay two cows if he was trying to allow Sarita’s father to save face. But instead, he gave eight cows for her!!
Everyone in the surrounding islands chuckled about it, since they believed his father-in-law put one over on Johnny. Some thought it was a mistake and that Johnny had not been as sharp as they had all given him credit for being.
But several months after the wedding, a visitor from the United States came to the Islands to trade, and heard the story of Johnny Lingo and his eight-cow wife. Upon meeting Johnny and his wife the visitor was totally taken aback by a stunning woman who entered the room, and was introduced as Sarita. The visitor couldn’t believe his eyes since this wasn’t a shy, plain, and hesitant woman, but one who was beautiful, poised, and confident. She was breathtaking and “glorious!”
The visitor asked about this transformation, and Johnny Lingo’s response was very simple. “I wanted an eight-cow woman, and when I paid that for her and treated her in that fashion, she began to believe that she was an eight-cow woman. She discovered she was worth more than any other woman in the islands. And what matters most is what a woman thinks of herself.”
——–
And now my two cents worth…Johnny Lingo had “shown up” into Sarita’s life. He had taken action to purchase her with confidence of her worth, and he valued her again and again by treating her with love in this way – it transformed her!
While we all want to be the Sarita’s in this story, I want you to focus on Johnny Lingo…think of his actions and his persistence. If you applied those traits to others in your lives, what difference could you make for them?
“Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” (1 John 4:11-12)
Water Walking
I saw an interesting quote today. It was unsigned, or rather noted as, “Author Unknown” so I don’t know who to thank for this one, but as I often do, I found this quote worthy of reflection. I’m sure that a thousand preachers have preached on this very topic before, but if I have heard them, then I’ve forgotten. More likely, this quote spoke to me for this moment because this is the moment in which God has given it relevance for me. The quote read, “What good is having someone who can walk on water if you don’t follow in his footsteps?”
This has relevance for me in two very bold ways right now. First, I believe that God allowed the portions of scripture to be collectively accepted as the scriptures because each portion, each story, or each excerpt has relevance for all Christians. So having said that, have you ever wondered why the story of Jesus walking on the water was included in scripture? This quote might shed a little light on that – so that we can follow. Yes, this account shows Jesus’s power over the natural world, but His power alone is maybe not the only thing going on here. Maybe, we are supposed to read this story and know that we are to follow Him out of the boat. That means to step out when things don’t look solid underneath us. That means to step out when circumstances might say otherwise. That means to step out without being limited by what you see around you. Maybe if we all acted more like Jesus in this way, okay maybe if I acted more like Jesus in this way, I would see more miracles in my own life. I’ve seen a few, certainly, but think of how many Jesus saw. I’ve got room for some more! Amen? Amen!
The other thing about this quote that inspires me is that we have to realize that the non-Christian world is watching us, looking for us to stumble. Maybe it’s not just about the miracles that I would see in my life, but maybe it’s about the miracles that others would see and therefore, believe. What good to the world is this account of Jesus’s actions if no one is acting like we follow Him? The world will quickly judge us as hypocritical and disregard the truth of Christ in our lives. If we don’t follow Him, then we will be dismissed, as will the gospel of good news. Maybe this account is given to non-believers to give them an idea of what to look for in us, or in me.
The most fascinating part of this story is that Jesus thought nothing of walking out on the water. It was normal for Him, just as you and I give no thought to walking down our sidewalks. We don’t stop to consider whether the ground will hold us up or whether God will be there to make our foot touch down safely. We just walk. So did Jesus.
I want to be that “normal,” too. I want to walk out with no concerns that God will hold up my foot. Jesus just had somewhere to go, and so do I. With Him.
“When evening came, his disciples went down to the lake, where they got into a boat and set off across the lake for Capernaum. By now it was dark, and Jesus had not yet joined them. A strong wind was blowing and the waters grew rough. When they had rowed three or three and a half miles, they saw Jesus approaching the boat, walking on the water; and they were terrified.” (John 6:16-19)
