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I Could, But I Won’t
I could, but I won’t. Say it again. I could, but I won’t.
It’s like a little mantra of mine that sometimes I have to just say to myself a few times. It works for me in all sorts of occasions and on a sliding scale. For instance, the urge to push the snooze button instead of getting up on time to exercise? “I could, but I won’t. Or, that really decadent ooey-gooey brownie a la mode that the restaurant is serving? “I could, but I won’t. I could, but I won’t.” That one might need a couple of repetitions. Sliding scale. See?
It also works to keep me on a budget. That extra blouse at the mall? You get the idea.
Now in really tough situations, such as when I feel that I’ve been wronged, or I know that someone just doesn’t have the whole story, and maybe they don’t even want it? Hmmm. I’m going to need a few more repetitions of my phrase. I could, but I won’t. I could, but I won’t. I could, but I won’t. Or maybe I will…..No, I could…but I won’t!
I’ve learned one thing. Wait. Scratch that. I’m aware of one thing in this type of situation, but learning it takes a whole lot of repetition. The fact that I could act a certain way, or respond a certain way, or say something, or do something – now that is where the true power comes. If I want to be in control of something, then that is the most important thing to be in control of – my response. That’s powerful when I can control it.
Sometimes though I speak or act before I think. Not usually a good thing to do. I’m almost always sorry about it or at the very least can come up with a better way to have handled it later – when it’s too late.
So, whether it’s that not-so-good for me indulgence or a sarcastic, biting rebuttal, I’m left with my own personal challenge – I could, but I won’t.
The Grace-Standard
In addition to this being a wonderfully productive and relaxing Easter weekend, if those two can exist at the same time, I’ve also come up with a new theory from my Great Dane, Grace. Sometimes, you just have to close the door.
You see, Grace has a sensitive stomach. Many Danes do. She can easily react to stress and find herself in need of Imodium chasers for a day or so, if you know what I mean. But twice in the last two weeks, Grace has outdone herself in that area. All due to the simple fact that I didn’t close the door.
For a dog, particularly a Dane, Grace is pretty smart. Great Danes are not known for being the rocket scientists of dogs, but they make up for it in the cuddle factor. They love nothing more than to sit/sprawl/absorb your lap and cuddle with you. It’s quite a sight, too, for a dog that size. But back to Grace – She’s actually pretty sharp. She has learned how to snap open the dog food dispenser and help herself. At first we thought it was a fluke, but after she has repeated the process a few times, we realized that she really was opening it herself.
As you can imagine, when she decides that she’s hungry, she just visits what she perceives to be a self-help buffet bucket. But, she is lacking the internal “stop” wire, or something like that, so she just eats herself sick. Literally. It lasts for several days, and suffice it to say that it’s not pleasant for anyone in the area, not to mention that it could literally be life-threatening for her…Danes are subject to bloating and flipping stomachs.
But, she is fine now and we have decided that the weighted object on top of the food bowl isn’t sufficient on its own, and so we have to close the door to the room where her food is kept. Seems easy enough, but it’s a high traffic room, so it’s going to take some retraining of our attentions and that’s how I arrived at my theory.
I was reminded of a question that has come up a few times lately. How do you know the difference between “I just have to work a little bit harder on this goal” versus “This is a closed-door” situation. Sometimes the things we want just take a bit of hard work and effort, and then we have to do it again – working harder still. Eventually, the object or goal in mind will become ours. Or, we can learn the new skill, etc. with just a bit more “push” or effort. But sometimes, God is keeping us from that desire, not allowing us “passage” if you will – closing a door to us because something just isn’t good for us, in our best interests, or right for us at that time. So, how do you know the difference?
If I can use Grace as my object lesson, then it boils down to health. If I’m making myself sick or getting out of balance spiritually or physically, then it’s probably time to close the door and walk away. I’ll be happier in the long run, certainly healthier, and I might find that it also frees up those around me to do what they are called to do rather than taking their time to clean up my “messes.”
I’ll call this the Grace-standard. I’ll test it out and see if it holds true, but in the meantime, I’ve closed the door. Sometimes that’s the message God wants me to see – through His grace!
“When they came to the border of Mysia, they tried to enter Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus would not allow them to.” (Acts 16:7)
Good Feelings
My Christmas cards are in the mail as of yesterday afternoon, which is no small thing for me, and right on time as we near Christmas Day. I get Christmas cards out about every four or five years, and it is such a good feeling when I choose to send cards and actually get them to the post office. Most years, I either choose not to go through the process, or I just don’t put the process high enough on my To Do list, so it doesn’t get done. But, that’s a choice when I do that – not a time management issue, a choice.
That makes me think about the other choices I make; some lead to good feelings and some don’t. I like the ones with good feelings. It makes me go to bed happy when I’ve chosen well on any given day and from there, I usually wake up happy the next morning (unless of course the Great Danes are rowdy overnight, which does occasionally happen, but that’s another story…). When I wake up happy, that is such a good feeling, and so much easier to share with those around me than a bad mood. Don’t get me wrong – I can easily share the bad mood with others, but that’s another “choice” now, isn’t it?
This morning, I woke up singing. That was fun. Then as I headed off to my first appointment, I sang and “grooved” behind the wheel. That was fun, too, and those in the car with me were mildly amused. I might go so far as to say that their day was made a bit happier. Now I know that doesn’t matter to you, but it mattered to them. It gave them a memory of me being silly and sharing my good feelings. Wouldn’t that be a special gift to give others as we approach Christmas time – good feelings memories?
