Blog Archives
On the Other Side
Well, the obvious choice for my blog topic this week is the inaugural worship service of Living Stones Church that happened this past Sunday. That because, if you’ve followed me on Twitter or seen my posts on Facebook, then you know that the work of planting a new church has taken much of my attentions over the last months, but I highly recommend the process. The process of planting a church, creating something where there was nothing, involves a great deal of prayer (always a good thing!), much blind faith, and a fair amount of self-reflection. In order to plant a church, you have to assess why you believe what you believe, and frequently talk about that to others. Then you get to do that again. Every Christian should go through this process. It’s exhausting on the one hand, but the clarity that comes from it is well worth it. I was asked to talk about how it went, from my perspective, and so this is that response.
Aside from the work that went into the planting process, I am feeling an odd shift as I sit on the other side of the planning. The work isn’t done, please don’t misunderstand, but it’s shifted. No longer are we focusing on what the service will look like, or how we will craft a mission statement. Instead, we are focusing on doing the work of the body. There are no established groups or clubs that meet in our church. There are no traditions to keep in place or consider doing away with. There are no meetings that we have to attend. It’s refreshing. We can build from the ground up and we can do the things that will minister to the people in our midst, and the people we seek to serve.
What scares me the most about all of this though, is not settling back into the familiar habits of old. As we begin to determine the needs of our worshipping body and move into the servant model that we want to be known for, we have to continually be mindful that it’s not about creating new “traditions” or setting up “meetings” for the sake of meetings. What scares me is that I don’t want to put our eyes back on customary routines, but rather on the fresh movement of the Holy Spirit – regularly and continually.
We love the familiar as human beings. We love things that seem easy and comfortable. That, I believe, is one of the fundamental reasons that more people don’t want to go to church. It’s too easy to take for granted the power of the church because we’re too busy being comfortable. Perhaps that’s just been me. But in this new body that has just been birthed, as we grow and “raise up the baby” as I said to someone yesterday, we need to never take for granted the power of what God can do through a group of people who are willing to do something fresh. We also need to take steps to do what God calls us to do, no matter how slightly uncomfortable it might be. We can’t stop at just being blessed that this body is up off the ground now. We have to live into all of the statements that we made about why we believe what we believe.
That’s where it shifts. I’d like to say it in a new and exciting way, but there just isn’t a better one. James said it best – “Faith apart from works is dead.” (James 2:26) That’s the verse that everyone has heard somewhere along the way. But a few verses before that, there’s a deeper part to it. James say, “Faith was active along with works, and faith was completed by his works.” (v. 22)
We won’t do this perfectly every time at Living Stones. But I believe it is in the heart of those who have been on the team to try. I believe it has been on our hearts to do things differently, and in the midst of any growing pains along the way, we have to continually be mindful of the need for prayer, blind faith, and self-reflection, those things that got us here, and yet also be mindful of demonstrating this outside of our borrowed walls.
If you were able to join us on our first Sunday, then hopefully you “heard” our hearts. If you have been one of those who have been praying for us from afar, we are blessed by that. Please keep it up – every child needs spiritual godparents who pray for them, and we need you. If you are interested in helping to hold us accountable to this mindset, then come join us. (If you want to know more about our heart, you can watch this short video on our website.)
More importantly, though, my thoughts are to ask you about your own self-reflection. Where are you on the other side of your own church-going experience? I pray that you are known by your faith, but also by your works. Notice that faith comes first. Just like on the church planting team, we had to know our purpose. We had to have faith in the corporate vision that we believed God had called us into, but then we had to do the work.
It’s wonderful to finally be able to say that I worship at Living Stones church, rather than to say I will be worshipping at a brand new church plant. I don’t have to talk about the future anymore, I can talk about the present. But when I do, I need to do more than talk. We all do.
“You see that faith was active along with his works, and faith was completed by his works; and the Scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness”—and he was called a friend of God. You see that a person is justified by works and not by faith alone. And in the same way was not also Rahab the prostitute justified by works when she received the messengers and sent them out by another way? For as the body apart from the spirit is dead, so also faith apart from works is dead.” (James 2:22-26)
Closing the Gap
So tonight is the first night of my current Bible study. The class is going to study the book Crazy Love by Frances Chan. We’re meeting at a local coffee shop in the Sugar Land area, and frankly, I’m really excited about it. I have missed having a group of girl friends with whom I can share the Word. I have missed having the accountability of the group. I have missed laughing that holy laughter that comes from those moments that are almost painful because you nervously know that you have room to grow, but moments that are also reassuring at the same time because you know that what you are going through is not unlike what others are going through.
As I drove over to the class site, I was thinking about the all-consuming need I had to tell others about my changed life when I first came to Christ. Okay, maybe it was when I returned to Christ. I like to say that I accepted Jesus as my Savior when I was about 16, but I didn’t know Him as Lord until I was 26. The “once-saved-always-saved” and “you-can-lose-your-salvation” folks can argue out that ten-year gap between the two. Was I fully saved? Would I have gone to heaven if I had died during that time? If I “fell away” as badly as I did while in college and early adult-hood, was I ever really saved in the first place? These questions become legalistic, I think. I just know that I’m just blown away by the mercy of God that I had the opportunity to close the gap.
Anyway, I was on my way to class wondering what happened to that fire. I was 26 when it overtook me. I fell on my knees in our home, literally, and wept and wept. I was in the house alone except for my year-old daughter who was napping upstairs at the time. I don’t know how long I stayed on the floor, all alone with my Lord, being cleansed of things that I had long forgotten or put away from my memory. When I finally stood up, my face somewhat swollen from crying, I remember knowing that life would not be the same. There was a park down the street from me, and I literally wanted to run to the park, climb the giant rocket-shaped apparatus and yell out about how God had changed me. The thought of doing that was a recurring thought over the next few months. I still have the image in my head even now. Probably the only thing that kept me from becoming a street evangelist at that time in my life was the fact that my daughter took a lot of attention and energy. She was feisty even then.
The point is, I never did that. I never got on my soapbox and started preaching. Instead, I settled into living a more quiet life of wife and mom, but living it differently. I learned that the types of lessons God wanted me to live out were the quiet ones of doing what I said, and acting like He had made a difference. He did change me, and I didn’t need to shout about it, although there’s a part of me that still wants to do that sometimes. But, no, more often, I am surrounded by those who want to see if I really live like I say I should and do what a Christian should do. In other words, they want to know if I’m a hypocrite, or do I really “walk the walk, and talk the talk.” Have I closed the gap….
That led me back to thoughts about tonight’s class. You see, no one showed up. Just me and God. And honestly, that was okay. He and I have had a great conversation tonight. We’ve talked about where we’ve gone together, and what this journey has been like, but mostly we’ve talked about closing the gap even more. Bringing back that fire and living fully as saved and bought, as alone with Him, but surrounded by those who are watching. Odd paradox, isn’t it? That’s the funny thing for all Christians, not just me. It’s not enough to just be saved. I don’t mean in the, “will you go to heaven,” sense. I mean in the witness you’re living out. That gap, between what you say and what you do, is the gap between Jesus as Savior and Jesus as Lord. That’s the question for me. That’s the question for all of us. And, funny thing, but that’s the question of the study that I’ll be hoping to start….next week.
“But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yoursleves.” (James 1:22)
The Play Dough Effect
When you think about it, every person that you meet, every day, shapes your character in some way. It may just be a small interaction that you have with someone, but it’s an inter-action and therefore, you can be changed or altered by any single encounter that you have. To illustrate my point, I’d like to use a simple object that we can all understand. Using this familiar object as the basis for understanding personality development, I call this the “Play Dough Effect.”
We would all agree that the best shape for forward movement is the circle. It’s round, smooth, and like a wheel, propels progress. Squares don’t do the trick; triangles don’t move forward without falling over, and uneven shapes won’t roll at all. So imagine yourself and your character as a round ball of play dough. This is your character, who you are, moving forward in life, “rolling along” every day. The more smooth your ball, the more direct your path will be.
However, everybody is subject to moods and emotions. They impact our lives, and when other people “bump” into our play dough ball with theirs, they impact us, whether profoundly or faintly. So every encounter that we have, every meeting of another person can shape our play-dough-character.
For instance, the obvious implication here is that if you have a negative encounter with someone or a crisis, it is easy to see the symbolic flattening of your ball that could occur. Or perhaps it’s just a dent that forms. Either way, your “progress” is affected. Your day is interrupted and routine actions become more difficult depending on the degree of indentation in our ball. For instance, a harsh word over the phone with a customer service department can irritate us for hours even though we don’t know that person. A more serious injustice can have a much deeper impact. We have to struggle to move forward and reshape our ball into something more balanced every time we have a negative encounter. This takes time and work, and reshaping isn’t always without pain, either.
But what about a minor meeting of another person, say at the grocery store or the post office. Every day you meet people with whom you have very little interaction. When that happens, there is seemingly no affect to your ball. There are no changes, no bumps, no dents, but no smoothing over of your ball either. Play dough, when exposed to air and not massaged, will dry out and become brittle. So, too, is our character without regular smoothing and working out of our form. If we live our lives in a vacuum, we become bitter and dry, or hungry for attention and frustrated without it. A dry play dough ball becomes too heavy to roll, and the fine lines begin to emerge as the ball shrinks up on itself. With only surface level interactions, lacking depth to our relationships, we too will dry up.
So what about the good encounters? Those are the times when our play dough ball is massaged, smoothed out, and rubbed into shape effortlessly. Those interactions shape us and keep us vibrant, supple, and agile. Everyone needs to have others in their lives who shape their character in this way, and in truth, you need more of these shapers, if you will, than not so that your character is being gently molded from all angles. These are the people who can speak a word of encouragement to you, make you laugh when things aren’t funny, offer a fresh perspective, see through to your heart and redirect your emotions, or just calm you down. These shapers are important to us; they are critical, in fact.
If we all want more positive “shapers,” then how do we get them? The answer is easy. We become them for others. The “Golden Rule” has always been true. Jesus was onto something, as usual. “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 7:12) This timeless truth can be seen in the Play Dough Effect. There is no lost irony here, though. Play dough, a favorite of children, is easy to understand and we can all relate to it, but more importantly, even Jesus said that kids get it! They “get” both the fun of play dough and the deeper truths of trusting God. (“Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God.” Luke 18:16) We can learn from them, too.
So, how’s your ball rolling? But more importantly, how are you shaping others?
“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 7:12)
On Graham Crackers, Graduations, and Grownups
I loved my kids when they were little. I really did. They smelled like new skin and graham crackers all the time. They let me play with their hair and rub their backs. They were amazed at my wisdom. They were so happy to wake up every morning. What fun it was to be a mom to little ones. It was such a gift.
But as I reflect upon those times, as full of wonder and laughter as they were, I like being the mom of older kids even more. They don’t always smell so good – especially teenage boys. They don’t let me scratch their backs or play with their hair, unless I am looking at the handiwork of the haircut that I just paid for. And they do not always appreciate my wisdom. In fact, they often like to point out what they have learned that I might not know or might have forgotten.
I just laugh. The biggest difference, however, is the way in which we interact. I love how they think. I love how they want to discuss or debate a point. I love that some of them have the same sense of sarcasm that I do. I just love seeing them become adults in front of my eyes. I will not always think that they made the right decision, but I will understand that they had a method of some sort. I want to understand their logic, and as young adults and teenagers, what an incredibly intriguing puzzle to play with. Much more entertaining than Barbie dolls or Lego’s.
The other night, as happens sometimes, we got out a family game. But this time two neighborhood boys joined us. One is in college and the other in high school. They just showed up and joined in. At one point, I sat back on the couch and was mesmerized at the “level playing field” of people in our living room, aged 11 through 53, interacting, laughing, debating our points, defending our game strategies…It was a wonderful evening.
I watched my oldest daughter walk across the stage today at her college graduation. She was so happy, so young, so full of what is yet to be. But what a thrill to know that I don’t have to “raise” her any more as she faces those things. I can just enjoy being her friend in a unique way. I will always be her mother. I will always have an opinion and plenty of advice to offer, but whether it is my own daughter or the young man home from college hanging out with my family just because we included him, I will continue to have their minds to engage me and their ideas to challenge me. Their dreams will continue to inspire me, and their companionship, now a two-way relationship, will continue to bless me.
I just smile.
“Then our sons in their youth will be like well-nurtured plants, and our daughters will be like pillars carved to adorn a palace.” (Psalm 144:12)
Milestones in Learning
Not too long ago, I asked my own children (aged from 11 to 21) what was the most important thing they had ever learned in school. This could be a scary question if you keep in mind that in some form or another, I have been directly involved in their education for all of their lives. But, being that they have on occasion accused me of being a bit too serious, they were not surprised that I asked. They have learned that as a parent, sometimes I ask my children questions that I know how they are going to answer, but I want them to verbalize the answer anyway. This was not one of those times. I did not know how they were going to respond, but I asked the question anyway.
Their answers pleased me. To sum it up, they said something along these lines. The most important thing that they had learned in school was the ability to think for themselves and that the end result of what they learn is not up to me, but up to them, up to the effort and work that they put into the learning process. Good. My job is done, I can hang up my figurative teacher’s chalk now. They’ve got it.
Shouldn’t that be the end result of all learning? The ability to process information so that you can think it through and apply it is critical. Knowing what you need to learn, and how to learn it is one of the tenets I have held to in teaching, not only my own children, but those with whom I have had the honor to work with over the years. Being able to keep the question, “So why does this matter?” or “What’s the big picture here?” in the back of your mind at all times is, I believe, an important part of the learning process. Unfortunately, in many school settings, this question is not even mentioned. I want to challenge you, no matter how old or young, no matter what you are learning, to always keep this question in focus. Don’t just go through the motions of learning, or of life – it matters! Ask yourself why while learning!
