Blog Archives
When I Grow Up…
When I grow up, I want a paint for my walls that holds up to swinging tails and shoe scuffs that happen when the dog is being chased around the room, barking incessantly, running into me, knocking me down, stepping on my toe, and trying to hide under the bathroom sink. I want paint that really endures – and in a color that I never get tired of.
When I grow up, I want a real dishwasher. I want one that doesn’t leave water spots and permanent stains on the brand new silverware I treated myself to not too long ago, but only after 30 years with the first set. No one can say I have no loyalties!
When I grow up, I want to be able to eat anything I want anytime. If I want three chocolate cookies for lunch (while I stare at the pantry trying to decide what I really want) and chocolate cake as an afternoon snack, along with my crackers and Swiss cheese before dinner, so what of it?
When I grow up, I want a car that doesn’t need gas with an air conditioner that never runs hot. Oh, and it needs to be able to be relied on to take me everywhere I want to go without anyone getting in my way – ever!
When I grow up, I want everyone to be nice to each other and look for ways to get along. I don’t want to deal with other people’s envy or anger or insecurities. That drives me crazy! Especially when they hold that mirror up to me.
When I grow up, I want to be able to travel at any time. I’d love to see Japan and Spain and Greece. I’d love to go back to Israel and stay longer. I’ve always wanted to fly around the world on an open-ended ticket. Run to the airport when the mood hits me. No one, and I mean no one, “runs” at the airport any more – not without large men with guns running behind them.
When I grow up, I’d like it to be a giant slumber party all the time. I want to have my friends over, play games, stay up late and watch silly movies, sing made-up songs on my guitar, tell stories that make everyone laugh until they cry, and never have to go to bed. I was tempted to try that recently, but no one thought I had enough coffee.
In the meantime, though, I’m grateful for the fact that I have a husband who entertains me, and pets for him to be a little boy with, hands to wash my dishes, and children to get them dirty again, food in my pantry, refrigerator, and the deep freeze outside, a way to get around and people to go see, places that inspire me, and laughter to fill my memories even if they hit me at silly times when no one else understands why I’m smirking…
“I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally. I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.” Philippians 4:11-13 (The Message)
In No Particular Order
The last week or so – here are some updates…
The tree is still standing, and the leaves are still green. I think it might actually survive the Texas drought and constant heat, as well as its near death experience.
I’ve gone from a family of six at home to a family of four as my two oldest children left the house to experience the joys of third-floor apartment dwelling with a dog who has to be taken outside regularly – up and down the stairs, up and down the stairs, up and down the stairs.
I’ve started a new business and created a website from scratch without any HTML code knowledge when I began while simultaneously writing and editing a new book/reflection journal to serve as a companion piece to my first book. (Whew…catch your breath…) And did I mention that I’m doing an alternate version of the Bible study live on Facebook?
My dog won’t leave my side. She’s afraid that I will leave her too, just like her sister-dog did. This means she wants to go in the car with me, to the bathroom with me, into the kitchen pantry with me, onto my lap in my office chair with me…You get the idea. She has bad breath – this is not my most favorite side of her.
I got a year older. (No comment.)
I celebrated the first 4th of July I can ever remember that didn’t involve fireworks either in the street in front of my house or at a public venue. Burn bans due to droughts are a good idea, but they change the “holiday feel” significantly.
And I made the mistake of purchasing a small shelf to go into my office…That required moving my desk which required moving the computer. That required moving the table, after the lamp that sat on it was broken. When the lamp broke, it was suggested that I borrow a lamp from upstairs, but the lamp from upstairs might need to be used in the new “office” for my husband, now that my daughter has moved out, leaving behind an empty room…which required moving three large, very large, bookshelves and about 150 books, 50 or so videos, and at least 10 photo albums which were all falling apart. (By the way, who keeps VHS videos anymore?) Once those were gone, the TV center upstairs needed to be reorganized which required moving the couches which required washing all of the slip covers. While we were doing that, of course my youngest son thought we should wash every item of bedding we’ve ever had for anything that might have ever been upstairs at any point. Of course the dog followed me up and down our two-story staircase during all of this process. Up and down, up and down, up and down.
I’ve decided not to buy any more shelves.
Good Morning, Saturday!
86 text messages in 32 minutes, more or less. Starting at 6:42 a.m. this morning.
That’s how I woke up!
What kind of idiot would send that many text messages that early in the morning? Me. I sent them all – one after another. What can I say? I woke up a bit feisty today.
You see, I woke up to a quiet alarm that I had set to remind me to remind my daughter to get up for her SAT test this morning. However, I hit the snooze button, and by the time the alarm went off again, I woke up to two 135 lb. Great Danes on either side of me on the bed, sprawled across my thighs and calves respectively, literally pinning me in place. How was I supposed to
get up to remind my daughter to get up? The only thing I could reach was my phone. That’s when my evil, but funny plan was birthed. Here’s how it went, and just so you know, I have deleted some of the messages….but each line was a separate text sent to my daughter’s phone:
Are you up? Happy? Ready for the SAT?
Hello??
Hello?
Is anyone there?
Can you hear me now?
What about now?
Now?
……….now?
Seriously?
Don’t you think I’m cute?
I’ll take that as a yes.
Of course, you could answer me.
That might help.
And save on my typing.
Do you think if I just keep texting you, I’ll ever get an error message?
Can one really send too many text messages?
Wait. Don’t answer that.
Well…. I’m so glad we had this conversation, but you really need to get up now.
Don’t you think?
I think.
…….I think about a lot of things.
Like…..why you haven’t answered me yet.
What’s up with that?
Do you know I’ve been sending messages fir a straight 9 minutes?
For
Not fir
Are you not amused yet?
There’s a limit to how cute I can be this early in the morning. You understand that, right?
I mean, I’m always entertaining, I know that, but it is 7am.
6:53 to be exact.
11 minutes
This is called “random access thinking”
Are you with me?
Let’s go back to the SAT.
You know you have to be up, right?
Hello?
Can you hear me YET?
I’m going to have to start text-yelling.
THAT’S NOT A PRETTY SIGHT!
And it takes longer to type.
I have a cramp in my fingers now……………
15 minutes……….
16 minutes…….still here……..
(This went on for another 15 minutes…)
Where are YOU?
I’m glad we have unlimited texting.
18 minutes.
I bet that’s a record.
I bet your phone is confused right now.
It’ll be funny to re-read this conversation one day.
I’ll bet you’ll wonder why you were so rude as to not answer your own mother.
Rude!
20 minutes of conversation and you still haven’t responded…
I don’t even hear your phone text alerts anymore.
Did you turn me off?
How could you do that to me?
….especially when I’m so clever to keep this going.
Giving up sleep to entertain you…,
Because that’s what mothers do.
And I guess you’re doing what kids do— Ignoring your mother.
That’s okay-one day I’ll make up for it.
I’ll sneak a piece of fish into your spaghetti.
Bet you didn’t see that one coming.
So…….you know you’re supposed to leave in 10 minutes, right?
Right?
Don’t you want to at least answer me?
Make me coffee in bed before you leave?
Something?
I’m running out of things to text.
And have I ever told you how I hate to text?
I do.
30 minutes.
Unbelievable!!!!
I’ve been texting you for a solid 30 minutes, and you haven’t answered!
Wow!
You are just ignoring me, right? You’re not asleep are you?
That would be bad.
She finally responded:
What kind of coffee?
32 minutes, by the way….
Not that I noticed!
I love Saturdays! And yes, she made it to the SAT on time…
Happy Mother’s Day weekend!
I plan to take full advantage of this one!
Welcome To My Life?
How can I not offer a rebuttal?
If you know me at all, then you know that I love my husband with all my heart and that even after 25 years of marriage, we are still on our honeymoon. However….
I must add my two cents worth to his recent blog, but as he’ll point out, my words are just too long for a “comment.” So, here are the facts:
- Yes, my girls and I are going on a cruise this week, a short one.
- Yes, I have had incredible guilt about this, because even though it was planned and mostly pre-paid nearly a year ago, the financial situation is a bit different now. I’ve nearly cashed in our ticket several times.
- The only reason we haven’t cashed in our ticket is because of my husband’s insistence that we go. He has repeatedly said he was excited about this cruise for his girls.
Now, on to the rebuttal…
- I didn’t realize that he was actually much more interested in the Master’s Golf Tournament. Imagine – watching others chase around a little white ball is better than shopping with me! Who knew!
- I didn’t realize that he has any desire to smoke cigars. I thought that was reserved for “brother-in-law bonding time” and I don’t think they’re in town this weekend.
- Fried chicken? Okay, so I knew about that one…To that one I say, “Knock yourself out!”
You see, these are some of the additional compromises that I was referring to in a recent blog of my own. All things considered, I think I’m doing okay with these compromises, and I take back that guilt…since he’s okay with this, I am too!
Let’s see – He gets the Master’s, and I get the pool-side sunbathing. He gets cigars, and I get Cozumel. He gets fried chicken, and I get 24-hour room service and numerous restaurants catering to my whims at any given moment. He gets a quiet house, and I get waves crashing against the boat as we glide through topaz-blue waters. Yup. I love that we compromise in this marriage!
But guess what? We are coming home! AND, we’ll be bringing all the noise, the chick-food, the heels, and all those things that he’ll miss about 20 minutes into his quiet time without us. But, he can take comfort in the fact that my dog, Grace the loving, affectionate, and gentle Great Dane, will be there for him. I bet that’s one girl in his house who likes fried chicken and chasing balls around the house!
Christmas Faith
Merry Christmas!
It’s a common greeting right now. Yesterday Frankie and I did our annual Christmas shopping. We always do it that way – it started when our kids were really little and we couldn’t get repeated babysitters to come and go and come and go for shopping, so we figured we’d get it all done at once and hire a babysitter for the day. It turned out, we loved the all day hustle and bustle experience and we turned it into a date-day, so it worked out really well for us. It also helped to get us into the holiday mood, which in Texas, when temperatures climb into the low 80’s the week of Christmas, can be difficult!
So, yesterday, off we went. Shopping, shopping, shopping. It was good fun for us, and we accomplished all that we set out to do – there was a deadline and a specific budget so there wasn’t a lot of impulse buying. We’re pretty good under those circumstances…And for the most part, people were nice, friendly, and no one was pushy. One gentleman even had an extra coupon that I didn’t have, and he applied it to my order. Wow!
But I kept thinking about the funny people out there. There’s no other way to say it. Some folks are just plain funny. Get into a crowded place when no one can tell they’re being watched, and you’ll see what I mean. I’m sure people have said that about me, too. One woman was walking down the mall, yelling into her phone, not because it was loud where we were, and not because she was mad, just because. That seemed to be her style of communication. Her clothing style was a bit “loud” too, so I guess that was her personality. One family was trying to get a family Christmas photo taken in the busiest section of the mall. Great backdrop, but not so much luck with the little child focusing on the camera. There were way too many other things to be focusing on – namely the toys that were around. The little girl was very young, so I can’t say that I blame her. It was fun to watch – these little microcosms of people’s lives, and it made me remember a little plaque that my sister had on her wall. She may still have it somewhere. As best as I can remember, it said, “Every time a child is born, it proves that God has not lost faith in the human race.” We’re a funny group, we are, but I agree, and while my dad used to tell me that I was far too trusting for my own good, I’d have to say that based on my shopping yesterday, I haven’t lost faith in us either. Shared coupons, proud living, and sparkles in the eyes of a little child all make me smile and say, Merry Christmas, from me to you.
On that note, our family Christmas card for two years in a row now, has been an electronic one. We’ve skipped the paper version, maybe for good, I’m not sure, but this year we made it interactive. You can add your own favorites, and even click on the some of the images for a little fun, but imagine that you’ve just opened your mail and found our card in your mailbox…(Click on the family photo above to open our card!)
Blessings for a safe and joyous holy-day season as we celebrate the faith and hope in us that God has shown through Jesus….
Anyone Need a Dog?
My daughter has her first official post-college, full-time, “in my intended area of study based on my college degree” job. After graduating in December, she finally found a full-time teaching position, and I must say we are all delighted. This means that she can begin her adult life formally, she can do the job she’s dreamed of doing, and she can begin to set up her first independent home.
Okay, maybe not quite. You see, in order to do that, she has to have a house. She has one right now; it’s mine. That’s not the one she wants to have, and frankly, it’s not the one that my husband and I want her to have either. We love her dearly, but we will be happy to see her move into her own place, with her Great Dane (leaving me with only mine to feed), and her mess following her. She’s a bit of a Linus…
The problem is that she has no car, either. She’s been borrowing her sister’s car. Her sister is willing to let her continue driving the car back and forth to this new job, but not to have her move out with the car. That would leave her without one, and she is going to need it. So, my older daughter has to get a car in order to move out so that she can get back and forth to the new job which will allow her to have the independent life that she dreams of.
But do you know how hard it is to be independent? She began looking for homes, and quite naturally, found a few that she thinks would be excellent, but they will stretch the budget quite a bit. So, she began looking at “lesser” homes. It has to be a house, mind you, because apartments don’t take Great Danes, and the alternative is to leave her Great Dane here with us. That’s not her first choice, and frankly, we’ll, I don’t think I need to mention that that’s not our first choice either.
When we reminded her of the car situation however, she switched from homes to cars. Naturally, she began to find several cars that would work, but the cars have to accommodate…you guessed it…her Great Dane, too. Even still, she found a few cars that would work, but again, would stretch her budget. Okay, more than stretch. “What about insurance?” I asked. Okay, so back to the drawing board. If she adjusts this variable and moves this line item to here, and takes some money from this budget item…nope. Not quite there yet, either.
So, she decided to do this in reverse. If she starts with the car insurance, “then what would be left for the car,” she wonders. Not much, but maybe there will be something out there. If she can find a clunker for a year, then maybe this will be okay. She had a number in pencil for the car. So, back to the house options she went. If she maxes out the budget line for the car and insurance, though, then there’s not any play in the budgeted amount for the house.
Let me see if I can recap for you – this is a dizzying process…To be independent, you need a place to live and some way to get around. She has a job, so she definitely needs the way to get around. If she gets around in a safe, but not-so luxurious way, then she can afford to live in a very questionable neighborhood (for a single young woman), OR, she can ditch the dog and move into a nicer apartment.
We are huge, huge Dave Ramsey fans, but it’s easy to see why there is so much debt out there. Or, why there are so many parents raising their kids’ dogs for them!
I Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Water Bowl!
Completely by accident, my Great Dane, of whom I love to share stories, discovered a new trick yesterday. I thought it was a fluke, but I grabbed the video recorder before putting her to bed last night, and sure enough, she did it again. Once she “gets” a trick, she’s got it!
So, just for fun, here’s a video of Grace going to bed last night. (She sleeps on a large black dog pillow in our bathroom.) Here’s a look into her new bedtime routine…
My Top 10 Animal Antics
I’ve decided to do a Top 10 List. In the past, I’ve refrained from doing this because there are so many out there, but I’ve been giving this some thought. The topic, you ask? I’m calling this the Top 10 Animal Behaviors List. Keep in mind, that this list is based on the animals that I have had the pleasure (not sure that’s the right word in some cases, but, oh well…) to call mine over the years. Dogs, cats, fish, and birds. I’ve ranked them in the order of frequency of expression, so here goes…
#10 – Attack Mode – This is one that most of my animals have not shown too often, at least not the attacking of people, but certainly the attacking of toys and food would apply. The dogs have been known to viciously attack the window when a passing squirrel or neighborhood animal goes by, but the window doesn’t seem to mind. The cat of course, does not have this mode at all because that would use far too much energy, and the fish only attacked each other.
#9 – Protective – This behavior often precedes the Attack mode, but is usually seen around here only in relation to food or holding the post on the fourth or fifth step up the staircase, where you can clearly see all of the front street and surrounding houses at once. That job only falls to the senior dog, our petite (in comparison) mutt-dog, as she is the only one who can handle it. The Great Danes are too dumb to know when to sound the alarm and when to exhibit behavior #6. The cat? Protect what? That would imply that he cared about something, and as far as the birds and fish are concerned, they are perfectly happy in their confined living spaces, so please don’t bother them.
#8 – Fear – This behavior is really only shown during rain and lightning storms. Unfortunately, the senior dog is the one that suffers from this fear and all of the other animals know this. It is the one time that the oldest member of our animal team does not keep things in order, but don’t tell the cat, as he thinks he is always in charge. No, during thunder and lightning storms, the ever-faithful watch dog leaves her post, pants and shakes, finds a spot near a corner of the room and all of the other animals, the cat included, come to nip at her neck during this time. She is too frozen with fear to react, but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t like it.
#7 – Please refer to #1, as this is about the time that this behavior shows up for the first time.
#6 – Ignore Mode – This is frequently shown after meals by all animals, and certainly by cats when you have left them behind to roam the house alone while you are off vacationing. The cat didn’t want to go with you, but he wanted to be asked or “considered” and the fact that you left him, elicits the ignore behavior quite handily. All animals are pretty good at this one, but the dogs can’t really sustain it for too long – mostly because behavior #5 gets the best of them.
#5 – Grooming – I haven’t really seen fish do too much of this, other than our “Suckerfish,” but all other animals that we’ve owned would put this high on their behavior lists. Especially the cat. No, wait, especially the Great Danes, particularly if they can back into you and lean all of their weight against you at a time of their own convenience of course, and by doing so, indicate that the appropriate time has come for you to massage or scratch their hips, legs, etc. I’ve actually witnessed a converging of the animal minds once before when I noticed that all at once, all three dogs and the cat were simultaneously grooming themselves, but the cat got his job done so much faster. He’s smaller, you see, so he went on to groom the eye sockets of all three dogs. You think I’m kidding. I’m not.
#4 – Play – This is nearly a constant, at least in our house. Animals circling around the staircase, through the dining room, into the kitchen, around the corner into the den, and back to the front entryway all in search of the grown adult who is chasing them around the house. Three dogs, two of which I might remind you are Great Danes. The appropriate response to this is to MOVE. Get out-of-the-way as fast as you can. But, you have to keep an eye on the grown adult, my husband I will add, who will spontaneously change directions on the dogs, who then go sprawling all over the tile or wooden floors, grasping for some traction with which to shift directions. Remember, move out-of-the-way, as calmly and quickly as you can. We have actually trained for this maneuver in our home.
#3 – Guilt – Occurs by both the animals and the grown adult when something is broken during the above described chase. The cat, birds and fish never experience this one, but the dogs make up for it in frequency, so it still ranks high. Guilt also occurs when the dogs eat something that they aren’t supposed to. This happens frequently. Often when you turn your back on them, so just don’t do that. Guilt always follows their sheer moment of stolen delight, but they eat your food anyway and deal with the guilt. Rather quickly, I might add.
#2 – See #1.
#1 – EAT, EAT, EAT. All of the animals would put this as their top behavior. As my husband has said before, they exist to live for only two questions – “Is it food?” and “Can I have food?” It really doesn’t matter the species. Around here, the dogs begin to nudge your arm or the pantry door if they think they need to eat. The cat will shamelessly meow and rub his nose into yours, which is one of the only times that he breaks the “Ignore Holding Pattern” that he has perfected. The birds that we have had all squawked when the food bowl neared empty, and the fish all became mesmerized by the food flakes dropping from their skylight. It is the common and unifying factor of all of them.
There! My first Top 10 list. Whew! That was a long one – I’m hungry….
Can You Hear Me Now?
Today was an odd day. It started very early when out of nowhere, and for no reason that anyone can identify, an alarm started ringing at approximately 4:17 a.m. I say approximately because for a few minutes, I was in total shock and could not fathom who would have set an alarm for such an early hour, and I couldn’t bring myself to look at the clock. But, it was early. Everyone in my house denies that it was their alarm. Smart kids, huh?
Next, much to my dismay, the dogs decided that if an alarm was going off, that must mean breakfast. When two Great Danes, in separate parts of the house, both decide that it’s time to eat, you can be sure that everyone in the convergence of their whining will be awakened – at 4:32 a.m. in this case I might add. Naturally, it was just after having heard the mystery alarm finally shut off and I had begun to drift off to sleep.
I then proceeded to calm down one Dane (Grace), my dog, and had no sooner gotten her back to rest when the other Dane (Jane), my oldest daughter’s dog, was bounding into the room licking my face. You see, Jane sleeps with my daughter, but my husband or I feed her every morning since we’re up earlier. My daughter has the luxury of rolling to one side of the bed, extending her arm to the doorknob, opening her door to let Jane run free every morning, and then going back to sleep while I get wet Great Dane slobber every morning to arise. Yum!
So, it was now about 4:57 a.m. I picked up my cell phone which was charging beside my bed. I am not ashamed to say that I picked it up, called my daughter upstairs on her cell phone, and told her that in no uncertain terms was I getting up with her dog at that hour. Now if you can imagine this, her response was to open her door a crack, which I heard downstairs, and yell to her dog to come back upstairs. With the amount of cajoling (i.e. yelling) that it took, everyone else was now awake and it was only 5:01. I had a whopping 14 minutes left to sleep.
As I was trying to fall back asleep, I wrestled with whether or not I should adjust the alarm right then to allow for an extra ten minutes of sleep or just let it go off, wake me up, and plan to hit the snooze button. I opted to let it go off in a few minutes. Just as I relaxed and convinced myself that I would actually hear the alarm, I remembered that two of my children had a class to attend that started at 7:00 a.m. today, earlier than usual, and that my younger daughter, not the owner of Jane, was still in bed. She’s 15. She needs a lot of shower time, and they had to leave at 6:30. She was not going to have enough time. So, you guessed it. I picked up my cell phone again and called my younger daughter on her cell phone. She answered right away. Of course, we were all awake anyway. She too had been lying in bed trying to ignore alarms, dogs, hollering, and whatnot.
5:13 a.m. – Two minutes before my alarm was due to got off – I finally got up and decided to get ready for the day – it was just going to be easier.
But wait, I remembered that my youngest daughter, the shower queen, was taking up all of the hot water at that very minute. Let’s see, tired and sleepy…did I really want to take a cold shower? It was easier just to wake the dogs up again and feed them to start the day. They didn’t look very happy to be awakened at that point, and unlike me, they’ve slept most of the day today….Go figure!
Dog Olympics
We have a dog problem around here. Or maybe it’s a couch problem. I think we realized we had a problem when we went into the pet store and the clerks knew us by reputation and asked immediately how “the girls” were doing. By “the girls,” he meant our two Great Danes, even though we have a third “girl,” a mutt dog, as well.
Back in November, the Danes graduated from the basic level of dog obedience classes at a local pet store, and I must say they were quite a hit at the classes. “School” was held inside a glass-walled room where shoppers at the pet store could see our dogs learn their skills, and often, people would just stop to watch them. I guess two large Danes, almost matching in color and size and learning to sit, stay, and lie down on command, are not a common sight. What we learned about them as they were learning the “lie down” command, however, is that they are just too precious for the common floor, if you ask them about it. The floor is not good enough for them, and the class instructor had to bring in a giant pillow for our “girls” to lie down on or they wouldn’t respond to the command.
That brings me to my problem. We have had a difficult time watching a movie or television show together lately because the Danes, now pretty big, insist on taking the couches for themselves. There are two couches and two chairs in the family room, and the Danes take over most of both of the couches, leaving the six of us two-and-a-half seats left to share. Do the math. Not good for us inferior people!
So, we bought two giant pillows at the pet store the other day. They’re huge! And you would think that would solve the problem, but it’s like musical chairs around here. The third dog, the smaller but lovable mutt, found the pillows delightful and curled up right smack dab in the middle of the giant pillow, queen of the roost. Then, one Dane found the other pillow, settled in and moaned a sigh of relief. Grace, my Dane, was odd-dog out. She spent the next hour moving from person to person, circling the couches and coffee table, staring everyone down with sad eyes, and resting her head on their lap waiting to receive her sympathy invitation on to the couch. She didn’t get it, and so we have watched television and musical dogs each night since. Tonight, the other Dane, Jane, was left out when the figurative music stopped playing. So far, Bella, the mutt, has not been de-throned. She’s quick.
I wonder if that is worthy of a dog skill building class. Our pet store trainers would be so proud of our “girls.” Olympic couch circling champion? Musical Pillow Games for Dogs….? I might be on to something.
