Blog Archives
Kitchen Renovations
Have you ever tried to keep a Great Dane from eating off of the counter? It’s not an easy task. First off, Danes are pretty tall. Secondly, without any effort at all, they can place their faces a few inches onto the counter to see what goodies await them. Thirdly, when a 100+ pounds gets moving in a determined, forward movement, it is rather difficult to get between the dog and its object of affection.
You may remember, we have two Great Danes. I know, why would anyone be that crazy? Just to see if we could do it, I guess; it’s a bit like climbing Mt. Everest in that way. Come to think of it, they are a bit like Mt. Everest in their size, too. But I digress.
Grace and Jane are their names. Small for Great Danes, actually, but nevertheless, they are big dogs with big appetites. Because their breed is subject to a variety of dietary and intestinal issues that I won’t go into here (but any Great Dane owner can tell you all about them if you’ve the stomach for it), it’s important to keep their food intake a bit monitored. The problem is butter. No, wait. The problem is bread. No, the problem is countertops. That’s it. Countertops just cannot be used for food.
We have a built-in microwave above our oven. It doesn’t work, but it makes an excellent hiding place for food. We call it “The Jane-erator.” That’s because Jane will take anything off the counter in seconds flat and without warning. Lately she’s eaten a stick of butter, half a Turkey Panini, half a roll of raw cookie dough, and that was in a two-day period. Grace, on the other hand, only wants ice. Now please don’t presume that Grace is the better behaved Dane. She has her own issues, but that’s another story. Right now, I am concerned with only Jane.
I’m considering remodeling my kitchen. Have you ever seen the movie Silverado? In that movie, there is bar that has to be reached by a much shorter bartender, a woman, so they had to build a ramp for her to reach the bar. It’s perfect for standing on, but not much else, and it’s pretty narrow. I don’t think Jane’s paws would fit. I think I might elevate everything in my kitchen about two-to-three feet and then build a little ramp for myself. It’s either that, or give up our countertops, or worse, our food.
Anyone know a good carpenter?
Hurry-Hurry Ding-Dogs
Today is an odd day. There is a mood about everyone I meet or talk to on the phone. In our family, thanks to an old friend from whom we borrowed this expression, we call it the “hurry, hurry, ding-dings.” You know the one, the run around in a frenzy trying to get it all done” attitude. But today, even my dogs have this attitude.
I work out of my home, so the dogs end up playing more of a role in my day than you might imagine. Here’s why. We have three of them. There’s Bella, the matriarch figure and official queen of the pack. She has been with us for about nine years, and she gets to break all of the rules. She’s only about 30-35 pounds, so it’s not that big a deal if she gets on the couch or the bed, or if she eats a crumb or two (or three) off of the floor. It’s also not too much of a problem if she decides to bark at the jogger going by, or if she sits on the stairs blocking traffic so that she can carefully sit as sentinel for the front door, protecting us from danger and harm. No, she’s not the problem.
It’s the other dogs. There are two others, sisters we call them, but a veterinarian smiled sweetly and corrected me once, “You mean litter-mates.” Okay, so they’re litter-mates. Nearly identical (in looks only) black 110 lb. Great Dane “puppies.” I say puppies that way because technically they are just over a year old, but they still have that puppy behavior. They love to pick up toys. Not true dog toys, mind you, but things like entire rolls of toilet paper, or paper towel cardboard tubes, or my brush. Then of course, they like to chew on these “toys.” I can’t tell you how many toothbrushes or socks I’ve had to replace; sometimes it’s good not to keep count.
Grace and Jane, the Danes’ names, are really the problem. If they get on the couch, no one else can. If they eat a crumb or two, it’s not off of the floor; it’s the sandwich that you just fixed on the counter, or the stick of butter that you were getting ready to use for cooking. And if they bark? Well, all business pauses. All hearing is temporarily drowned out by the sound of deep, echoing, husky barking. So when that jogger goes by, or the small, petite Bella sees something to alert us to from the stairs, Grace and Jane come bounding onto the scene, barking first and asking questions later, just to see what they need to pounce on.
This problem is particularly bad during UPS season, or rather Christmas-time. As the UPS delivery trucks go up and down the street, heaven forbid that they should stop near by to leave a package. First, in her meek and timid, somewhat aging voice, Bella issues forth a quiet sound the alarm. But then, then the trouble starts. First one Dane, and then the other, begin their tirade. But, by the time they arrive on the scene (for it takes a large dog a few extra seconds to get off of our king-size plush bed, you know!), the truck is gone. Then Grace and Jane must begin the process of going room to room to check out every window angle. Just in case. Barking, barking, barking.
And did I mention that the cat, yes, we have a cat, likes to get them going too? I probably did, but you couldn’t hear me over the dogs barking…
