Blog Archives
Just a Little Bite
Women may get this one more than men, but you know that cookie or dessert that lurks from your kitchen? The one that you say, “I’ll just have a little bite…” and before you know it, you’ve had 15 little bites and the dessert is gone? That one.
That “little bite” could be an analogy for so many things in our lives. It could be the one or two Sundays that you skip church to sleep in and before you know it, you haven’t been in two months. Or, it could be the two or three nights you work late just to catch up, and a few weeks go by before you realize you’ve missed dinner at home more times than you’ve eaten dinner at home. Maybe it’s missed exercise, skipped meetings, too much of things that aren’t healthy for you…Whatever it is for you, there’s probably something in your life that has fallen victim to the “little bite” syndrome.
I have my areas, a few of them, actually. There’s always an excuse for that first little bite, isn’t there? Is it just that I lack self-discipline, or is it that I’m not motivated enough? Whatever it is, once I make that decision the first time, it’s easier and easier to make that decision again and again until whatever it is that I’m taking little bites of has taken me so far away from my starting point, that I don’t have the energy or motivation to get back to it.
But what are those areas? What little bites are eating away at me and the person I’m capable of being, the one I want to be? If I think about the result of too many samples of dessert, I’ll find extra weight. Using the same principle and looking at my life, what seems out-of-order? Where are there extra burdens that I’m carrying? If I’m feeling unloved, could it be that I’ve been taking too many bites of criticism? If I’m feeling “unspiritual” could it be a result of too many bites of worldliness? Lonely? Perhaps I’ve skipped too many opportunities to comfort others?
I don’t want to be a victim of the “little bite syndrome” any longer, but with all of the clarity that I see this analogy right now, I’m just as likely to forget it tomorrow. Paul’s voice echoes in my imagination, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate, I do.” (Rom. 7:15)
We all do it. It’s not just me. We all fall short of our own expectations. Sometimes we pick ourselves up and try again, and sometimes we carry the extra weight. I want to skip this kind of dessert. Oh, Lord, help me – help us, Lord. Make us to be the people you want us to be – in spite of ourselves!
What do you do to avoid the “little bite syndrome?”
“Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.” (Romans 8:5-6)
iPhone Insights
Some things just make me happy. It can be a good day, a bad day, an average day, whatever, and if I see or do one of those “favorites,” the day always gets better. You know the feeling? As of this week, I have a new favorite photo to add to my “happy things” list.
I think everyone should have happy things. They don’t have to be extravagant or elaborate. In fact, the more simple they are, the better. But what a pleasant surprise it is to stumble upon those happy things – when you least expect them. In doing the “mundane,” sometimes God creates a moment…When I was sorting through my iPhone photos, looking for one in particular, I found this one. I didn’t realize it at the time, but my daughter had been playing with my phone one night after dinner, and she caught this moment.
In the case of my newest photo, it makes me happy because it speaks volumes to me without “saying” anything. It’s like a snapshot into my life but in a little random iPhone photo. Lots of life’s most telling moments, those profound moments, happen by accident like that. The trick is to keep your heart open to them.
Not to be trite, but “Maria” in Sound of Music was on to something. Our favorite things can also be our happy things…I hope you have a few of your own…
“…if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Philippians 4:8
Titles for My Next Book
I was writing a new blog yesterday, and when I went to save my file, I was reminded of the other blogs that I’ve written and not posted. Yes, I’ve written quite a few blogs that were more about the writing process, the putting to paper of my thoughts, than the process of sharing those thoughts. Sometimes they’re just not meant to be shared.
That led me to think about the book title that I would write next, and I have to admit, I got a little silly. The titles that ran through my mind ranged from the sarcastic to the serious, the funny to the not-so-funny. One thing I know to be true though, if you write a book, you’ll likely be challenged in the ”life area” of your topic. For instance, write a book about saving money, and you’ll probably have to spend money shortly after. Write a book about auto safety, and you’ll probably have to replace your car tires. You get the idea…
So, in random order, here are some of my working titles for books that I’d like to write (or have already started) and a little bit about them, for the ones that I can share with you, of course. Depending on the challenges I’m up to, though (or not), I may never finish any of them!
1. Manna, Mission, and Ministry – Why 3M Is a Tape Company Bearing No Resemblance to Real Life – This one is about the call to doing ministry – any ministry. Go ahead and take the vow of poverty if this happens to you. Nothing will “stick” to you, especially money (manna), and you’ll probably question your mission repeatedly – rightly so.
2. Yes, Honey, I’d Totally Love to Drop Everything I Was Already Doing and Pay Attention To Your Needs Right Now – Okay, so I cleaned that one up a bit, but can you tell it’s about marriage? This is one of the secrets to my successful 26+ years of marriage.
3. Thank You, My Kids ARE Normal – This is about homeschooling, its effects, and the standard response, “Thank you, yes, they are pretty normal. Does that surprise you?”
4. Notes to Self – Short notes about ways I can creatively mess things up again and again, and reminders of ways to avoid those mistakes…Note to self…I probably won’t remember to avoid them.
5. I’ll Raise You One – For Pastor’s Wives and People Who Know Them – This one is focused on the emotional state of pastor’s wives. No matter what the needs are for them, someone else will always have a more pressing need or bigger crisis, and that presents some challenges. It’s a statistical thing – there are more of them than there are of us. (Very limited readership.)
6. This Is the Day – Finding joy in the day, every day, no matter what…I’m so relieved that I don’t feel compelled to call it “This is the Week” – sometimes even a si
ngle day is really pushing it!
7. I’ll Never Say Never – Try telling God “never.” G’on, I want to see what happens next….We all need the laugh…
8. When All Else Fails, Take Up Skydiving – This one is focused on that jump. Getting out of the plane is sometimes the very best thing to do. Ignore reason. Yield to risk. Change your altitude….Don’t forget the chute, though.
……Now, can you guess which 4 of those I’ve already started?
“Soak me in your laundry and I’ll come out clean, scrub me and I’ll have a snow-white life. Tune me in to foot-tapping songs, set these once-broken bones to dancing. Don’t look too close for blemishes, give me a clean bill of health. God, make a fresh start in me, shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life.” (Psalm 51:8-10, The Message)
Marriage Numbers
26 years ago today, I married my husband. When you try to summarize that many years, sometimes you have to focus on the facts alone to give the years some perspective and depth. So, here are the facts of my 26 years of shared life with Frankie Rodriquez, as best as I can account for them.
- 37 surviving coffee mugs, memorializing something
- 23 photo albums, before we went digital
- 20+ different dogs, cats, snakes, hamsters, birds, and fish
- 19 different jobs, some of them simultaneously
- 14 different cars in shades of red, beige, blue, gray, green, black, white, and silver
- 11 homes in 8 cities
- 7 pregnancies, 2 miscarriages, and 1 child’s funeral to precede our own – resulting in 4 children together and 1 other in whose life I am privileged to be included
- 5 washer/dryer sets
- 4 parents who rejected our marriage in the beginning and said it would never last
- 4 parents who came to love one of us after all
- 3 hammers, 2 ladders, and 1 toolkit
- 2 vacations we’ve taken alone (other than a few weekend getaways)
- 2 sets of silverware
- 2 coffee tables
- 1 decision – to love one another, no matter what, and even if everyone else abandoned us
- 1 God who saw us through it all, even when we didn’t see Him.
Perspective is a funny thing, and facts don’t tell the whole story. Clearly, there’s a lot missing from the years if we only look at the facts, but some things are certain. If you think you’ve “made it,” you’re wrong, and if you think you can ever coast through a marriage, you’re wrong. Once married, change begins. In between the facts, there’s a lot of work and effort, a lot of change and adapting, some tears, some silly moments, laughter and pain, quite a few difficult experiences, and plenty of opportunities to choose zero – the number of new chances you’ll give.
The place where you start and the place where you end will most assuredly be different. Choose “your 1’s” well. The 1 you will focus on, the 1 thing that unites you in marriage, and the 1 thing you know to be true.
…Frankie, I love you more now than when we married, and like that sunny afternoon before the wedding, when we sat down with two letters from families who could not love us at that point, I am decided to love you for the rest of my life. Unlike that day though, I understand the implications of that decision, and I joyfully give thanks to God for the honor of making that decision again. By the grace of God, and through the One that He is, you are my 1.
When I Grow Up…
When I grow up, I want a paint for my walls that holds up to swinging tails and shoe scuffs that happen when the dog is being chased around the room, barking incessantly, running into me, knocking me down, stepping on my toe, and trying to hide under the bathroom sink. I want paint that really endures – and in a color that I never get tired of.
When I grow up, I want a real dishwasher. I want one that doesn’t leave water spots and permanent stains on the brand new silverware I treated myself to not too long ago, but only after 30 years with the first set. No one can say I have no loyalties!
When I grow up, I want to be able to eat anything I want anytime. If I want three chocolate cookies for lunch (while I stare at the pantry trying to decide what I really want) and chocolate cake as an afternoon snack, along with my crackers and Swiss cheese before dinner, so what of it?
When I grow up, I want a car that doesn’t need gas with an air conditioner that never runs hot. Oh, and it needs to be able to be relied on to take me everywhere I want to go without anyone getting in my way – ever!
When I grow up, I want everyone to be nice to each other and look for ways to get along. I don’t want to deal with other people’s envy or anger or insecurities. That drives me crazy! Especially when they hold that mirror up to me.
When I grow up, I want to be able to travel at any time. I’d love to see Japan and Spain and Greece. I’d love to go back to Israel and stay longer. I’ve always wanted to fly around the world on an open-ended ticket. Run to the airport when the mood hits me. No one, and I mean no one, “runs” at the airport any more – not without large men with guns running behind them.
When I grow up, I’d like it to be a giant slumber party all the time. I want to have my friends over, play games, stay up late and watch silly movies, sing made-up songs on my guitar, tell stories that make everyone laugh until they cry, and never have to go to bed. I was tempted to try that recently, but no one thought I had enough coffee.
In the meantime, though, I’m grateful for the fact that I have a husband who entertains me, and pets for him to be a little boy with, hands to wash my dishes, and children to get them dirty again, food in my pantry, refrigerator, and the deep freeze outside, a way to get around and people to go see, places that inspire me, and laughter to fill my memories even if they hit me at silly times when no one else understands why I’m smirking…
“I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally. I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.” Philippians 4:11-13 (The Message)
Mr. What’s-His-Name
I was thinking today about my high school Chemistry teacher. I can’t for the life of me remember his name, but he was a nice guy, loved his Chemistry, and made it fun for the rest of us. (Bill something…? If there’s anyone out there who was a Ranger from Smithson Valley circa 1980, feel free to chime in with his name!) If you have to deal with Chemistry, I’d recommend him, if I could remember his name, of course. Anyway, he said something one day that I’ve never forgotten. It was one of those quick passing remarks that has no real reason to stick, but it did.
He came in one day wearing a suit, which was not the norm for him. When someone asked him why, he replied, “I’m not feeling well, so I thought I’d dress up.” That didn’t make sense to any of us, but he went on to explain that if he dressed up, maybe looking his best would help him to feel his best in spite of a cold or whatever it was that he had.
I’ve never forgotten the attitude behind that thought, and I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve modeled that philosophy. It works. But the same thing works for other ways of feeling, too. It’s the proverbial “half empty vs. half full” conversation. If you’re sad, focus on the happier things, and you’ll feel better. If you’re angry, find a friend who makes you laugh, if yo
u’re feeling lazy, get up and exercise…it’s not about pretending something is true or lying to yourself; it’s a matter of focus.
We had a guest preacher today at church, and I was blown away by how her remarks were the perfect response to a conversation I had with a few other people about an hour before she arrived. It was like she had been a fly on the wall, but there’s no way she could have been, nor could she have had any idea that we’d been talking about that issue. Only God can do that! But part of what she preached about was on the church being the church, and what that means. So applying my Chemistry teacher’s logic here, if we’re not happy with the church, or feel it hasn’t met our needs, then we need to be the church, or be the ones who fill the needs, rather than putting our focus on what we don’t have or don’t like about church, or anything else for that matter. There was a lot more to what she said, but it was a perfect word for today, and it reminded me of Mr. Something-or-other. Other than his life-changing remarks over 30 years ago, I don’t remember much about anything else he taught me, but in my mind, I can still see him standing behind the lab table in that dark suit.
“…the garment of praise for a spirit of heaviness…” (Isaiah 61:3)
(You can hear the sermon preached by Ms. Ali Llewellyn at www.lscsugarland.org; click on “Podcasts.”)
Travel Tip 8 – The Trick to Turbulence
The trick to turbulence is not to look down at the bleak clouds, or to even think about the impending bumps and odd noises you’ll hear as you move through those clouds. And, you definitely don’t want to notice the lightning below you, not while you’re in the plane. And you probably also shouldn’t focus your attentions on the fact that your stomach is growling while the other passengers stare at you, because all you had to eat for breakfast was a hard-boiled egg, and that was 8 hours ago. You would have done something about that at the airport had there been more than ONE security check station at Bush Intercontinental Airport to handle all of Terminal C. Who knew that an hour and ten minutes would never be enough time to get through security, leaving you running down the concourse in heels to hear, “We’ve already had last call for this flight, m ‘am – hurry!”
No, when you find yourself in a 15-minute “holding pattern,” the trick is to look up and out. The trick is to look at the incredible lights that shine on the clouds above the storm. The trick is to pretend you’re on a roller coaster as the plane banks right and then slowly banks left – repeatedly – right and left, right and left. Yup. That’s the ticket. Look up. I think they say the same thing about reading in the car…
If you can tell that I’m traveling again, then bonus points to you. The good news is that I did make the first flight, and the holding pattern only took 15 minutes out of my 45 minutes to change planes, so I was in good shape to sprint from Terminal C to Terminal D when I got to Cleveland. Did you know that if you run on those passenger conveyor belts, just to make up some time, you can shave off enough time to squeeze in a beverage purchase at the only coffee stand near your next gate? You can! And, you might get lucky enough to be given the only large coffee cup that leaks slowly from the bottom like an ice cream cone, too! What a treat! If you just keep looking up, you’ll never see those coffee stains on your shoes…
“Now when these things begin to take place, straighten up and raise your heads, because your redemption is drawing near.” (Luke 21:28)
The Light of Conviction
“There is nothing you need that I cannot provide.” That’s a quote from a devotional entry that I’m reading right now, and it’s what God says throughout scripture. Most Christians know this. If we believe God to be God, then we have to believe that He can provide anything we need, at any point. As always, though, the issue becomes a question of need.
Do we really need it? Why do we need it? What difference will it make if our needs are met? If it’s a question of life or death, and some needs are, who is to say that we need to live. Maybe in death there is more to be gained…for ourselves or others. Our flesh may argue with this statement, but Christians know that there is much to be gained from eternal life and that it won’t even compare to the one we live now…So, no matter how far we take the issue of “need,” we always reach a point where we superimpose our sense of what is best, and what we want, over what might be needed.
We want to live, we want to be healthy, we want to have thriving families and productive careers. We want to travel and see the big world that God created. We want to have friends to laugh with and moments of joy that sear into our memories. None of those things are wrong to want.
But if we acknowledge that God is truly God, and He can do anything He wants at any point, then we have to also acknowledge this, and I’m twisting the quote from my devotional. There is nothing that we lack that we truly need at this moment. If we needed it, really needed it, our God would provide it. If we don’t have it, then we don’t need it right now.
Ouch. When I read that simple sentence in my devotional, my mind raced through a string of thoughts that mostly, I’m writing down for myself. If this challenges you, too, then know that I’m not picking on you. This convicted me today, and for my own growth, I needed to record it. There is nothing that I want, or even think I need, that I actually need. I’d have it if I needed it, because God says so.
My prayer for myself and for you if it helps, is that God would grant me the wisdom and clarity to stop confusing my wants with my needs.
“And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19
(For the record, the devotional is titled, Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young, in case you want to join in on the “conviction train” with me! Thanks, Sis for sharing this book!)
What Remains
This blog has been brewing for a couple of weeks. Sometimes, you just have to get your distance on an event before you can really put it into perspective. Sometimes, like we talked about at my Bible study last night, you just have to remember that “when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.” (1 Corinthians 13:10) Those things we know and experience now are only temporary. Time can change the impact and meaning of events in our lives when we know the full story.
Such is this event that I want to share with you. A couple of weeks ago, I had a work-related phone call from someone interested in homeschooling. I will do my best to spare the details of the call, but it was one that left me shaking when I hung up the phone. I was mad, offended, saddened, and in shock. The mother with whom I was chatting was pulling her child out of school because of the bullying that has gone on in the school. She went on to say that her child was afraid even to go outside in the neighborhood for fear of being attacked. She had told me where she lived, and knowing this town fairly well, I was surprised by her child’s fears. Assuming perhaps it was an unusual situation, I was surprised to have her hit me with the punch line to her fears for her child. The crux of the matter in her mind was this, and I will quote her. “We are surrounded by Mexicans who only want to run around, fornicate, and get each other pregnant.” She went on to add that she did not want to raise her child in a culture where, “these Hispanics are only interested in taking the easy way out, and their laziness sets a bad example.”
It was at about this point that I interrupted her to remind her of my last name. Rodriquez. She had seen several emails with my signature on them, so she was not unaware. When I gently reminded her, she pointed out that she had seen my picture, knew I was white, and that my husband, “must have gotten out of that culture; he must be normal.”
Needless to say, the rest of the conversation was an interesting one, and as politely as I could, I stressed the sorrow I felt that this was her attitude and “experience.” It was not mine.
Fast forward now to this week. On Monday, I had the opportunity to visit with a long-time friend of our family who is now in a geriatric convalescence center. She has suffered from rapid onset of dementia, and she’s not been doing well. I had seen her about a week before, and she had known who I was, but this week, she did not. My husband and I visited for about an hour, and all the while, our friend was happy and conversational, although the conversation didn’t always make sense. Nevertheless, we played Bingo with her, sang with her, and laughed with her at her feisty spirit that still remains, even when her nurses don’t see the humor in it.
As we played Bingo, however, I looked around the room. There were about 30 clients in the room, and I knew that each one had a story. Each of them had friends who had come and gone, family members in other places, experiences that had shaped them, both for good and for bad, and pre-conceived notions of others and what they were like. Yet at this stage in their lives, they were able to enjoy each other. They were glad for the common experiences of Bingo and laughter, and yes, conversations that were quite entertaining. They joyfully needed each other, and while they had most likely come from a huge variety of social backgrounds, and certainly from different ethnic backgrounds, none of that mattered.
The people that they were, inclined to be joyful or bitter, inclined to hope or to despair, to smile first or scowl, that remained.
With this perspective, I’m able to think back on this mother who is so fearful for her child, so hurt by experiences to which I cannot relate. I pray that she has opportunities to show love to those around her, and opportunities to be loved by those around her. I pray that she has opportunities to be transformed beyond her limited past, because it’s temporary and “when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.” I pray that her faith and hope in humanity will be renewed in her love for humanity, because love is the greatest of all – whether seen in a group of strangers-turned-friends over Bingo, or seen in acts of conversation with neighbors.
“So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:13)
Hallelujah!
Easter has always been my favorite church day. There are lots of reasons for that and special memories of Resurrection Sunday celebrations in my past, but it’s one of my favorites. In part, it has to do with the colors that everyone wears, and in part it has to do with the flowers. And of course, it always has to do with the message of Easter. 
These things all have common elements. Hope. Fresh chances. Joy. New life. I know that preachers all over the world are pointing out those connections today, so this is nothing new, but I look forward to the reminder every year, and I look forward to the message.
I pray that wherever you are on your journey with God, you will look forward to His message to you, because we’re reminded on Easter Sunday of a message that is spoken daily by Him. He speaks every day of hope and new life in His Son to those who will listen. And just like the many parts in songs such as “The Hallelujah Chorus,” written for an Easter celebration, the message is always unfolding in harmonies both subtle and not-so-subtle, so keep your heart and your ears open!
“He told them, “This is what is written: The Messiah will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day, and repentance for the forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem.” (Luke 24:46-47)
