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We used to have an expression when our children were younger about our car being a family think-tank, a roving theological retreat. Any time we got into the car when the kids were little, it turned into a discussion on some deeper truth or life-changing revelation. That is one thing that all of my children remember – learning about God in the car. I guess we must have made more than our share of long car trips, but it seems that our car can still be that way. We just aren’t all in the same car as often, so I guess I had forgotten this. Until yesterday.

We went to our oldest daughter’s church yesterday for the first time. It was very nice and we all enjoyed the sweet worship and the variety in the service. On the way home however, six of us in one vehicle, we found ourselves discussing the preaching style of their guest preacher and how it varied from my husband’s, also a pastor. We compared the preaching and the music and the greetings and the prayers and found along the way that my kids, now 21, 16, 14, and 11, have some strong opinions about such matters. We were in agreement with most of them, and I have to admit I was completely caught off guard that they had given these things such deep thought, but there was one area that led to the most enlightening, lively discussion we have had in some time. The subject was reaching today’s youth and a Post-Modern culture.

I am just a mom at heart. I can use big words, but often I don’t (and surprisingly, that is what started part of this discussion). I don’t “dumb down” my message, but I try to use words that fit my audience; I use words that are more conversational because I believe that our lives are ongoing conversations, whether in word or action, with those around us, and that’s how I relate to others. I was labeled a post-modernist for this. Okay, maybe not for this alone, but for the fact that while I believe there are absolute truths when it comes to God’s Word, I often use words that evoke thought and reflection to bring God’s truth to light, not commands. My husband on the other hand, stated that his challenge as a pastor was how to convey God’s truths in a one-hour typical church setting in a way that carried enough conviction to carry church members through the week without being commanding. To him, preaching requires the statements of those absolutes in a voice of confidence and assurance. So where’s the answer according to my children? For no other reason than this seems most clear, here is a list of some of the points that we could all agree on. I am sure that others have said this more profoundly, but I share this here for my own reflection, as much as anything else:

• To connect with the youth of today, teachers and pastors must admit that we are speaking to those who don’t want to be told what to think.
• The analogy is this, according to my son: It’s like a treasure map. To speak to today’s youth, we have to show them where the treasure is (the absolutes), but we have to let them follow the dotted lines for themselves.
• The youth of today DO believe those absolutes exist.
• The youth of today DO have strong opinions about worship and preaching.
• To help them find the absolutes on their own, the youth of today must be given examples in meaningful ways that are personal and authentic, not just platitudes.
• While we might be right or have more wisdom as we “older” ones speak or give instruction, we have to allow the youth of today to have a voice in the conversation.
• And, to connect with today’s youth, we have to get out and do what they are doing.

That last one was for me alone, perhaps. It was suggested that if I want to be more approachable by today’s teens and young adults, I might need to play a few more video games. I don’t think they had the Wii Fit in mind when my kids suggested this, although I could start there, but I get the point. Start small, my son said. Start with video games. I mention this because if you see me hanging out at the local Best Buy in the Games section, I don’t want you to miss the point. I’m connecting with my youth, and working on my high score at the same time.